


Silence

by MercyChild



Category: Saulbert
Genre: M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-12
Updated: 2015-10-17
Packaged: 2018-04-14 10:20:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 30
Words: 40,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4560915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MercyChild/pseuds/MercyChild
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[CURRENTLY REVISING] Eighteen year old Sauli Koskinen had a future. He was finishing his last year in high school, leaving with a full scholarship, and about to make his name in the newspaper in fashion. It's funny how one minute, you make all these plans, and the next minute, they're gone due to one night. Accused of first degree murder, Sauli is now trapped in a men's prison in San Diego, sentenced to ten years.</p>
<p>     Adam Lambert is eighteen, a dark man with a disturbing past and dark secrets. He is currently serving life in prison. He has many labels. He's a former escort, he murdered his father, and he's the most feared man in the San Diego prison. Everybody stays away from him. When Sauli and Adam accidently cross paths, Sauli is determined to break him open. But what he finds out could get them both killed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

"Turn around so I can un-cuff your hands." Greta—the female officer orders. Sauli Koskinen turned fully around and held out his hands below the slot in the door. Greta takes the key and unlatches his right wrist, then proceeded to unlatch his left wrist. "We'll come collect you for dinner." She mutters as she walks away, his handcuffs in her hand. Sauli sighed and rubbed his wrists where the handcuffs left marks. He was alone. He turned to look at his room. There were two beds, arranged like a bunk, with a sink and a toilet. And a small window, catching a glimpse of the outside world. That's it.

He tugged on his blond hair, half a million flashbacks soaring in his head. How did he end up here? This wasn't him—he wasn't fit to be in a place like this. Trapped behind cement walls, wearing an orange jumpsuit, torn away from his friends and family. He was only 18. And here he was, being blamed for something he didn't even do. He paced the floor urgently. He was a rising star! Had fantastic grades, had a passion for music, just getting ready to graduate. And he would spend his graduation in the California State Prison, charged with first degree murder. Homicide.

He didn't do it He was framed by somebody. His neighbor Jane was brutally murdered on January fifth at midnight. Sauli had just got home from a graduation party one of his friends had thrown, and he noticed her window had been smashed. Alarmed, Sauli ran inside her house and found her dead on the kitchen floor, her eyes wide in shock. She had been stabbed over thirty times.

Someone noticed the door was wide open and found Sauli crouching next to Etta, looking for a pulse, and the person called the police. Sauli was immediately arrested and taken into custody. He couldn't really defend himself; he was covered in Etta's blood, and unfortunately that already didn't look good on Sauli's part, since he was trying to convince the police he didn't kill her.

There was a trial, and Sauli lost. No matter how many times he said he came home from a party and found her, the judge didn't believe him and sent him to ten years in prison without the possibility of parole. The trial was on January 20th. Sauli can still remember how badly his mother cried, how bad he cried, and how he was ripped from her embrace and thrown into this prison. And so here he was, in a prison jumpsuit, alone with his thoughts for the next ten years. He wanted to cry but he was too numb to feel anything. So he sat on one of the beds and held his head in his hands, trembling.

Later, he was collected for his dinner. He shuffled along in his cuffs along with the other men in his block. Some stared at him and Sauli fought to stare back. He didn't understand some Americans. He was a Finn, and from where he came from, nobody had tattoos on their faces. Sauli wanted a tattoo on his neck when he got older, but that’s as far as he'll ever go. He sat alone, picking at whatever the substance that was thrown on his plate. Another inmate with a skull tattoo on his wrist and tight braids appeared soon in front of him. "Hey. I'm Gideon." He said, sitting down next to Sauli.

"Sauli." He said quietly.

"Sully?"

"No, Sauli." He repeated, like he always has to. "Sow-lee."

  "Sauli." The man repeated slowly. Sauli nodded. "You're new here." He assumed. Sauli nodded again. "I've been here for almost 10 months. Charged for theft. What're you here for?"

"Murder."

"Damn boy. You're like, seventeen."

"Eighteen, and I was framed." Sauli corrects. Gideon smirks.

"Half the people here were framed. But they don't get out. How many years?"

"Ten."

Gideon shakes his head. "Damn. I get out in a few more months. I'll teach you what you need to know in time."

"You don't have to do that. I'll be fine."

“I know but you’re gonna need some help before you venture off on your own. There's a few people here you need to stay away from.”

"Like who?" He asked.

    "Back to your cells." One guard barks into a megaphone.

     Sauli and Gideon said goodbye and Sauli and the other inmates filed back to their cells. Inside his cell stood a tall, intimidating figure that could pass as the Grim Reaper's son. Sauli took a step back, stifling a scream.  

    He was muscular from his arms to his legs, pale skin, and from what Sauli could see, he had ink black hair, almost blue, that hung into his eyes. A perfect contrast to the orange jumpsuit he was wearing. And if Sauli weren't scared shitless, he would've came closer to see the man's face.

    He got his wish when the man suddenly whipped around. His beautiful face paralyzed him. He had sharp cheekbones, a sculpted jaw, jet black eyebrows, full freckled lips, and a pair of electrifying blue eyes that have ever graced the spectrum of color.

    They stared at Sauli with such intensifying gratitude, Sauli found it threatening. He took another step backwards and in two more steps, he was backed against the wall, the man's face was suddenly inches from his. Sauli looks up at him, the fear clearly visible in his eyes. A guard's hand was suddenly pressed against the man's chest, pushing him back.

     "Back off, Lambert." The guard ordered. The man—Lambert—briefly glanced at the guard before stepping away from Sauli and climbing into the top bunk of the bed, facing away from Sauli. Sauli let out a sigh of relief and silently thanked the guard.

       Sauli avoided Lambert by all costs. He knew Lambert must've been his last name, so Sauli made a mental note to ask Gideon his first name. At night, Sauli slept on the bottom bunk, although he didn't sleep at all.

    Neither did Lambert. Sauli heard him get up in the middle of the night and walk to the window, holding himself up so he could see outside. Sauli thought he heard him sniffle, but it might've been nothing. Or it was Sauli's own agony. Whatever it might have been, it was gone.


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sauli meets Adam for the first time.

       In the morning, Sauli was allowed to be in the courtyard with the other prisoners for 30 minutes. Gideon was playing basketball with a couple of men and walked towards Sauli when he appeared outside. "Hey man, want to play?" Gideon offered, motioning to the other men that resumed the game. Sauli shook his head and sat down in the grass. Gideon shrugged and followed suit. Sauli glanced up and noticed Lambert staring directly at him from the other side of the court, his back against the wall, arms crossed.

      "Don't look up." Sauli said quietly, looking away from Lambert. "But do you know that man?" Gideon followed his eyes and inhaled sharply.

     "Dude, that's Adam Lambert. The most dangerous person here. And youngest—next to you."

      "OK, and why is he dangerous?"

   "He was sentenced to life in prison when he was fourteen."

     "What'd he do?"

     "Killed his father. Strangled him with his bare hands. Nobody effs with him. He sits by himself all day, doesn't speak and I've never seen him eat. He's tried to escape about twenty times in the past year."

      "I still don't understand what that has to do with me."

     "Are you sharing a room with him?"

    "I believe so. He was in my room last night so I'm assuming it wasn't visiting hours."

Gideon shook his head. "I don't know why they would put you with him. Those guards know how he acts. He's supposed to be alone at all times. Here's some helpful advice for your ten years being here: Don't cry in front of him. That's an automatic plus to not only Adam, but the other prisoners as well because they'll know you're weak.

      "Whatever they do to you, don't fight back unless you must. If they take your food, not a big deal because the food here sucks ass anyway so I don't even know why they would take it in the first place, but if they would, just let them. If they try to square up—or fight you, don't throw the first punch. Like in school, the guards will go after the person that threw the first punch. Since you're new, most of these prisoners will mess with you. Considering you're being charged with murder and you're eighteen, most likely you'll be someone's lunch. That intimidates other men when a younger man murders somebody."

    "I'm not worried about the other prisoners; I'm worried Adam will kill me."

     "I don't think he will. He's got a soft spot for pre-Madonnas like you. As long as you don't start shit with him. He's actually really interesting, if you can get him to talk."

    "You've spoken to him?" Sauli asked, raising his eyebrows. Gideon nodded.

     "Once. When he first got here, he wasn't that big and tough. He was just figuring out where he fit in this food chain. He was picked on because of his sexuality by his father, and he was also picked on in here. I was the only one that helped him up and he said thanks. He was fourteen. We've never spoken since."

    "He's gay?"

     "Doesn't show, does it? Not that I'm trying to be stereotypical, but you don't exactly have the chance to express yourself and style in this place. The whole point of prison is to take away someone's freedom."

     "He's beautiful when he's not scowling." Sauli noticed a small petiete man with blonde hair approach Adam. Instead of killing him, like Sauli thought, Adam actually nodded and spoke to the blonde.

     "Well I'd hope so, since he was a prostitute as well."

    "He was an escort too?" God, he was learning all about Adam today.

"Yeah, long time ago. Since he was twelve. His momma abused him sexually and physically. Guess he got used to it. In West Hollywood, he was well known. Up until his arrest, men and women used him any way they wanted to. That's why he is the way he is now." Jesus Christ. No wonder he never speaks. He's broken.

     A whistle blew. "Back to your cells!" A female guard barked. Sauli and Gideon stood up and said goodbye. Sauli shuffled back to his cell where Adam was already at, pacing back and forth. Sauli hesitated before entering; reminding himself that Adam was human as well. Just ten times scarier.

     "Hi." He squeaked when Adam looked up at him. _Seriously_? Did he just _squeak_? Adam seemed taken aback for a moment when Sauli spoke to him. It didn't last long before the same icy glare returned and Adam looked away, continuing to pace the small room. Sauli awkwardly sat down on his bed.

     This was going to be harder than he thought.

     "I'm Sauli." He tried again. Adam didn't look up. Sauli cleared his throat quietly. Adam suddenly turned too fast and banged his hand against the steel sink. He masked the pain with an expressionless glare, but Sauli could tell he was hurt. He stood up. "Let me see." He said quietly, moving towards Adam.

     Noticing how he was walking towards him, Adam stopped dead in his tracks and stared down at Sauli, who avoided his eyes at all cost. He moved his hand and Adam stepped back. "Don't. Touch. Me." He seethed through gritted teeth. Sauli flinched. Did he seriously just flinch?

     "I'm not going to bite." Sauli said. Adam took another step back, banging into the sink again. He almost winced.

     "Come on, I just want to make sure you're okay. I'm not trying to be one of your escort takers." Did he just say that out loud? Adam's eyes masked over with darkness, they became almost black. And on January 24th, Sauli Koskinen has signed his own death certificate. In one quick motion, Adam has Sauli by his jumpsuit, his back slammed against the wall, and Adam was holding him up by his collar.

    "What the _fuck_ did you just say?" He hissed. Sauli was trembling. Multiple guards had heard the commotion and were racing into the room, struggling to pull Adam off Sauli. Adam didn't fight the guards--he just kept his hands locked on Sauli's shirt, staring knives into his eyes.

     "Go get Tommy!" Someone yelled. Adam had moved to vigorously shaking Sauli back and forth. Sauli's head was banging against the wall and he was starting to feel lightheaded. It didn't help when he felt Adam's hands lock around his throat.

      "Adam Mitchell Lambert!" Someone yelled from the doorway. Adam's head immediately snapped over into the direction of the voice and he released Sauli immediately. Sauli landed in a heap on the floor, coughing and gasping for breath.

      Two guards wrenched Adam's hands behind his back and handcuffed him, pulling him out of the room. He didn't resist. Sauli was on his hands and knees, still having the feeling of Adam's hands locked around his throat. Someone crouched down to his level and brushed the hair from his forehead.

      "You okay?" The person asked. He was anything _but_ okay. Someone tried to kill him,but yeah, he was _totally_ fine. What a time to be alive. He shook his head and the person helped him up. Sauli looked up at the prisoner's face. He had blonde hair that was shaved on one side with a few black streaks sliding through like stripes on a zebra. He had soft brown eyes. This was the man who spoke to Adam earlier.

    "I'm Tommy." He said, extending his hand to Sauli. "Adam is my best friend. What did you do?"

     "I mentioned his past." Sauli admitted.

     Tommy frowned. "How do you know about his past? Nobody knows except Adam and I."

     Sauli didn't want to tell Tommy that a little birdie told him. "I heard Adam talking in his sleep last night." He lied. "He was talking about it."

    Tommy nodded and a few more guards came in. "Tommy, back to your cell. Sauli, are you alright?" Sauli nodded. "Don't worry about Adam. He's going back into the segregation cell. He won't be able to hurt you." Tommy waved goodbye and the door was shut, leaving Sauli alone. It didn't feel right without Adam, as crazy as it sounded. Maybe he had been choked harder than he thought.


	3. Three

Adam returned back into the cell three weeks later. By now, Sauli already knows the routine of the prison, and he was doing alright. He spoke to Gideon every day and Gideon gave him more advice about Adam. Until one day, Sauli decides to step out of his security zone. Instead of sitting alone and waiting for Gideon, Sauli decided to sit with a few other inmates and wait for Gideon. 

“Whoa, hey, who’s the fruit?” One inmate with a scar above his left eyebrow snickered when Sauli sat down. The two other inmates immediately moved closer to Sauli, to the point of where it was uncomfortable. He was beginning to regret his decision.

 

"Give me that,” Eyebrow Scar says, snatching something off Sauli’s tray. He shrugged it off. It’s not like whatever the man took is edible anyway.

“See that, Rider? He doesn’t care.” Another inmate pipes. Eyebrow Scar—Rider—raises an eyebrow and suddenly has Sauli’s blond hair in his grip. Sauli hissed from the pain as Rider jerks his head down, slamming it onto the table. A loud thud is heard and Sauli’s vision is blurred. He feels the inmate’s grip on his hair loosen and Sauli stands up, coming face to face with the prisoner. Gideon is suddenly there, and is fighting to get between the two men.  
“Come on Blondie.” Rider sneers. “Hit me.” Sauli is hot with anger.

“Sauli, come on, lets go.” Gideon says lowly.

“Wait, his name is Sully? That’s even better!” Rider howls with laughter and Sauli grits his teeth and says something in Finnish. Rider is suddenly back in Sauli’s face, and the men are pushing against each other. “What did you say to me, Sully?” He demanded. Their noses almost touched, they were so close.

“Painu vittuun,” Sauli repeats, his voice a harsh whisper. Fuck off.

Rider lunges for him and soon both men are fighting on the ground. Sauli knows he can’t go against a man thats at least twice his age, but he sure as hell can try. The inmate digs his knee into Sauli’s ribs and Sauli claws at the man’s face.The weight of Rider is suddenly gone as he flies across the room. Sauli looks up and his breath caught in his throat. 

Adam stared down at him, his pupils rapidly dilating and then contracting into pinpoints. Rider has gotten up by now, and there are a huge crowd of inmates surrounding the three men. Sauli is still flat on his back as Adam steps in front of him, glaring daggers at Rider. He lunges at Adam, but Adam steps to the side and Eyebrow Scar runs right past him and into a wall. The crowd of men are cheering for different people. Half are cheering for Adam and the other half are cheering for Eybrow Scar.

He whips around and lunges at Adam again, and this time he lets him and soon Adam has Eyebrow Scar pinned to the ground in less than a minute. Adam reers back his fist and slams it into Eyebrow Scar’s chest. He howls with pain and Adam does it again. And again. And again. And again. Blood is starting to pool around Eyebrow Scar’s body as the dark liquid pours from his nose. Adam reels back his fist again, officially ready to deform Rider' face when Sauli appears, carefully wrapping his arms around Adam’s torso to avoid his rage, and pulled him off. Adam and Rider scrambled up and glared at Sauli, who stepped in between the two men.

“Stop.” He says, staring straight at Adam. He looks wildly between Sauli and Rider, clearly furious.

“Well would you look at that. The queer made a friend. Make sure he doesn’t rape you in your sleep, Sully.” Rider snickers. Adam makes the attempt to jump Rider. Sauli quickly pushed his palms into Adam’s chest, very aware that Adam was much stronger than Sauli. Adam tore away from Sauli’s grasp and his hands locked around Rider’s throat. About three guards pushed their way into the crowd and ordered the three men to drop down on their knees, hands behind their head. 

Well, Adam was already on his knees, strangling Rider. And Sauli couldn’t just sit there. He scrambled up but another officer roughly pushed him back down. ”Back down.” He barked, wrenching Sauli’s hands behind his back and cuffing him. Sauli wanted to fight, but he stayed put. Two other guards appeared and tackled Adam to the ground, making him release his hold on Rider’s throat. Rider gasped for air as one officer cuffed him as well and dragged him off into the C block—the segregation block. 

Adam thrashed wildly in the cuffs, but the only thing resulting in that was marks on his skin. His left side of his face was blotchy and turning a horrible shade of purple where Rider had struck him. Sauli stared helplessly as Adam was litterally dragged into the segregation block. Sauli was forced to move right behind him. The segregation block is a group of cells where prisoners have no interaction with the other inmates. 

The rooms are even smaller than the ones that are in the normal blocks, and you’re served your food on a tray that is pushed through a small slot in the door. And you are forced to stay there for as long as the guards say. Sauli was shoved into one cell, Adam was shoved into a cell across the hall and Rider was taken to the medical examer in the hospital for treatment. Sauli turned around so he could be uncuffed and sighed heavily when the door was firmly shut, locking him inside the room.

His head was throbbing with pain and his knuckles were red and swollen. There was only one bed—obviously, so Sauli sat down and stared up at the ceiling, unable to decide what’s worse. Death or prison.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggestions? It'd really help. If you guys want to see more Adam and Tommy, more Tommy and Sauli or whatever, just comment and I'll look into it;)


	4. Four

     Sauli was allowed to go back to his cell two weeks later. Adam still wasn’t there when he returned, and he suprisingly felt lost without him. Maybe he had been hit harder than he thought. But, despite his splitting headache, Sauli did remember how Adam stepped in and took on Rider, saving Sauli.

    So he _does_ have a heart, he thought, remembering how Adam took his place. There were emotions, he was sure of it. They were just locked away, deep inside that dark, dangerous, man.

    Sauli made the decision to find them, because he knew, deep inside, that Adam was just as scared as Sauli was. For whatever the reason might be, he didn't know. But...did he want to find out?

    About three days later, Sauli had just woken up in the late evening when he noticed Adam sitting on the floor by the sink, staring straight at Sauli.

     He considered pretending to be asleep but Adam already saw his eyes open. “You can relax. I’m not going to hurt you.” Adam mumbled, holding his head in his hands. Sauli sat up slowly and Adam froze when he sat down next to him. Sauli can see the side of Adam’s face, and it was covered in welts and bruises.

   “I wasn’t expecting you to.” He said quietly. Adam slowly looked at him.

    “ _Sully_?” He tested slowly. Sauli shook his head and lifted his finger.

    “That is not how you say my name. Sauli. Sow-lee.”

     “Sauli,” Adam echoed. Sauli nodded.

     “Listen…I don’t want to be your enemy. We’re in the same situation and I don’t see a reason for us to fight.”

    “Why?” He growled. His voice was low but dear God, it was so velvety and rich. “What would possess you to want to talk to me? I strangled you.”

    “Because…” He really didn’t know why. Adam was like this addicting soul and Sauli just wants to keep learning more and more about him. “Because you saved my life. Which makes you responsible for me.”

    “What?” Adam said with a frown. “No it doesn’t.”

   “Yes it does, and I’ll tell you why. You came to my aid when I didn’t ask you to, and I came to your aid when you didn’t ask me to. So technically we saved each other, which will make us responsible for each other."

   “I only did it because I couldn’t stand to see Rider gloating at someone else’s expense. It makes me sick. And then that entire comment about…” He closed his eyes, inhaling deeply. “It made me want to kill him. And you’re just wasting your time with me."

   “I’m not wasting anything. You saved my life.”

    “I wouldn’t have if I knew you’d pester me.”

    “You don't mean that.”

     “What do you want, Sauli?” Adam asked tiredly.

    “I want to be your friend.” He stated blankly.  
Adam snorted.

    “Trust me, there’s nothing friendly in here. You’re still new, but you should know how this system works by now. I think I might’ve choked you harder than I thought, if you still want to be near me.”

    “It was my fault. I mentioned something out of anger that was very personal to you, and you reacted. Simple. I’m not going to hold a grudge against you, if it was my fault.”

    Adam shook his head. “That is exactly why I don’t understand you. You barley know me. You’ll be the first one to admit you’re wrong, even if it’s someone else’s fault. That’s going to get you killed in a place like this. Considering you’re one of the youngest murderers in this place, people are taking you as a threat.”

     Sauli raised his eyebrows and Adam looked at him.

     “Word gets around when there’s a newbie in a place like this. Don't think your secrets are safe."

   “I didn’t kill her. I was framed.” Sauli defended. Adam smirked sadly.

    “I said the same thing. I didn’t kill my father; he died of a heart attack shortly after I—” He stopped suddenly, as if he were about to say something he didn’t want to say.

    “Hey,” Sauli said softly, making Adam flinch. “I’m not here to judge you. I told you already, I don’t want to be your enemy—”

    “I know,” Adam said, inhaling sharply. He closed his eyes again. “It’s just…I don’t know how to do this. How to share my feelings with somebody that’ll actually listen. I haven’t had a normal conversation with somebody in years, and I’ve been alone since I was fourteen, and I can’t decide whether I liked it that way or not.”

    “You don’t have to tell me your life story if you don’t want to. I don’t want to pressure you into anything. Just start slow.”

     Adam inhaled and exhaled slowly. “Okay, how do I start?”

     “Start by telling me your name.”  
Adam frowned.

     “I’m sure you know my name; I’ve probably been on the news or you’ve heard about me in this place. Nothing is sacred here.”

     “You’re right, I do know your name. But the only information I have is the name people tell me. And I think it should be confirmed by the person owning the name. So, what is your name?”

    Adam sighed. “Adam. Adam Lambert.”

   “Good,” Sauli nodded. “So Adam, what do you like to do?”

    “You mean what I used to like doing before I was arrested? I was a theater kid. I loved to be in theater.”

   “A theater kid? Aw, that’s cool. I wanted to do theater, but my mother insisted I did something else. So I chose fashion.”

    “Fashion?” Adam raised his eyebrows in surprise.

    “I know it’s not ‘manly’ but its something I enjoyed doing, and I really didn’t care what anyone else thought.” Sauli said sheepishly. Adam nodded and Sauli shifted.

     “Okay so—”

   “Sauli let me ask you a question. And give me your honest answer. Why do you want to get to know me? What have I done to peak your interest in me? Because if you’re just messing around with me—”

   Sauli sighed heavily, interrupting him. "I’m not messing with you, I’m being serious. Okay? Why can’t you just accept that?”

   “Because I don’t know how!” Adam yelled in frustration. The sudden power in his voice made Sauli flinch. Adam noticed this and grabbed fistfuls of his dark hair. “See, look. You’re terrified of me. Then leave me alone! I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t ask to be born gay, I didn’t ask for my mom to blame me for my father’s death and send me off to this death camp.

    "I didn’t ask to sell myself and be ripped apart and put back together like some experiment. I don’t know what love is, let alone how to show it. I don’t know how to feel happy. I don’t know how to do anything but sit in a place like this and watch more people like you and I come in.”

    “What do you mean by people like you and I?” Sauli asked softly.

     “The people like us that have done nothing wrong.” Adam answered back. He lifted his forearms to Sauli, revealing crucial slash marks. “And this is what happens when you’re sentenced to life in prison at fourteen.” He closed his eyes again, pulling on his hair, forcing the tears that threatened to make an appearance back down his throat. He grits his teeth but the tears refused to leave.

    They found their way through his closed eyes and out into the world, rolling down his face. It broke Sauli’s heart as he watched the raven haired man before him fall apart. Sauli made the attempt to take Adam’s hand in his, but Adam completely shut down, pulling his knees up to his chest and burying his head between them.

    But Sauli wasn’t going to give up yet. He scooted around until he was facing Adam, literally forcing his legs apart. Before Adam had a chance to close them, Sauli climbed in between them and wrapped his legs around Adam’s torso. Adam still had his hands over his face.

    “Adam.” Sauli said softly. No answer, except the slight trembling of his shoulders. “Adam, look at me.” His voice was a soft plead, and despite himself, Adam looked up, hearing the concern in his voice, meeting Sauli’s eyes with a different kind of fear than he had been feeling earlier. He lifted one hand and pressed it gently against Adam’s face and he began to tremble.

   His blue eyes were red and swollen, but it didn’t dim the slightest of his electrifying orbs. Sauli took one of Adam’s hands in his; vaguely surprised Adam didn’t pull away. However, he did shut his eyes again, turning his head away from Sauli.

   “Adam, please. I can’t help you if you don’t let me in.” Letting go of his hand, Sauli reached forward and pulled Adam into his embrace, holding tightly to him. At first, Adam’s hands were at his sides.

   But as he felt another sob ripping its way up his throat, he wrapped his arms around Sauli as he let it out. Sauli hooked his chin behind Adam’s shoulder, his hand finding its way into the raven man’s hair, running his hand gently through the soft locks. And in that moment, he realized how oblivious people were.

    You wouldn’t have guessed the most feared prisoner in the California State prison was slowly falling apart, living in a secluded world where they take away your freedom and replace it with steel bars and an orange jumpsuit. Sauli gently pushed Adam back so he could look him in the eyes.

    His eyes were a liquid blue now, surrounded by red and puffiness. His lips were parted as he panted softly from crying, and he just looked so vulnerable and raw. Nothing like the inmate Sauli met just a few weeks ago.

    Tears were still falling. Sauli took the opportunity to take Adam’s face in his hands, his thumbs grazing the sides of his face. “Let me help you.” Sauli whispered. When he didn’t answer, Sauli found himself leaning forward until he pressed his forehead against Adam’s, staring straight into his eyes.

    They electrified Sauli as if he were an old computer that was finally being used again after years and years. Adam stared back at him fearfully. Sauli’s other hand found its way behind Adam’s neck, gently pulling him forward until their lips met.

    There was no real movement; just Sauli’s lips pressed gently against Adam’s, whose eyes were wide open in shock. Sauli pulled away after a minute. “Do you trust me?” Sauli asked. Adam nodded slowly and Sauli let go of him. “Good.”

     “Lights out." A guard said as he walked past their cell. Sauli stood up and offered his hand to Adam. He hesitated for a minute before firmly grasping Sauli's hand, pulling himself up.

    "Sauli," Adam said suddenly, almost urgently. He grabbed Sauli's wrist with a panicked expression.

    "Adam, I wont tell anyone what you told me. Not until you want me to. You can trust me." If Sauli would've blinked, he would've missed the slight look of relief in Adam's eyes before it disappeared.

     "I—can’t.” Adam whispered, his voice breaking.

    "Yes you can. Listen, I understand your feelings of regret and fear, but Adam, if I wanted to hurt you don’t you think I would’ve done it by now?" Adam nodded and looked down.

      Then he looked back up at Sauli and nodded again. "Okay."


	5. Five

Adam is gone. Not gone as in, he left for a minute. Gone as in, he left for an _eternity_. No one knows where he's at. The guards are clueless, the inmates haven't seen him, so he's gone. They checked the cameras. Nothing. They brought in the dogs. Nothing—not a trace. They couldn't even pick up his scent.

They made all the inmates take a lie-detector test to find out if they knew about Adam's escape, and everyone came out truthful. Sauli sure as hell doesn't know, and it kind of bothered him. Adam was very emotional last night. Could he have—no, stop it Sauli!

Adam would never kill himself. He may have been through some of the most traumatizing moments, but he would never end his own life. Sauli paced his room for the fifth time, a million possibilities running through his head. Did he escape? Where? Why didn't he tell Sauli? Is he dead? The idea is so repulsive, Sauli thrusts it from his mind.

He didn't leave his cell at all. He sat on his bed, legs folded underneath him, staring at the wall ahead of him. As it grew darker outside, that's when he really started to worry. More theories invaded his mind. Adam, lying in a ditch, dead. Adam, hanging in a tree somewhere. Dead. Dead. Dead. All of them are the same. Always ending with Adam dead.

Sauli bit his lip. It was now nightfall, and still no sign of Adam. Whatever feelings he had earlier were gone, replaced with true terror. Everyone was thinking the same thing. What happened to Adam?

    Morning came and still no sign Adam. They know for sure he didn't escape. But there was blood streaked down one of the empty cells, so they took a sample to the lab to determine whose blood it is. For now, Adam is presumed dead. The word makes Sauli's chest tighten. Dead. How? Why? The questions swarm in and out of his mind. Sauli doesn't believe what anyone says. Adam is not dead. He can't be dead. But if he's not dead, where is he? Where is Adam?


	6. Six

     Two days go by. Adam is assumed dead. The cell blocks are on lockdown until everything is sorted out.

    "They haven't found a body, no evidence that links to the death, so how can they  just _assume_ that he's dead?" Sauli asked aloud. Gideon, whose cell is across from Sauli's, shrugged.

     "I dont know Sauli, but if he's not dead, where is he? He's been missing over 3 days, there's no way he could survive without food or water. And this prison isn't that big. So...he must be dead."

    "But he can't be!" Sauli yelled in frustration. "He can't, he _can't_!"

   "Keep your voice down!" Gideon hissed. He looked around. "Do you want to get us all killed? We're not even supposed to be talking about this. They already think one of the prisoners killed him. We don't need drawn into any more attention."

   Sauli sighed heavily. He was going insane and Gideon was right. If he didn't calm down, they all could get into serious trouble.

_Adam, where are you? Adam, are you okay? Adam?_ The questions are permanently inside Sauli's mind. They rack his body nonstop. The same questions with the same, empty answers.

     "What about Tommy? Surely he must know something. Where is he?" Next to Sauli, Tommy is the only person that knows Adam better than he knows himself.

    Gideon bites his lip and looks away. "Gideon? Where's Tommy?" Sauli asked again, fear starting to set in.

     "Tommy is gone too, Sauli." Gideon answers quietly, avoiding eye contact with him. "He disappeared last night. They have no leads or anything. Just like Adam...he's _gone_."

    Nausea washes over Sauli like a tidal wave and he has to lean against the wall for support. Two men gone in less than a week. Fear and panic have both set in, and they are starting to take over Sauli's mind.

    What is this? Where are they going? Is he next? What is going on? More questions. More empty answers. First Adam. Now Tommy. That leaves only one, final question. 

 

         Who's next?


	7. Seven

     Something is happening. 7 prisoners, not including Adam and Tommy, are gone. All together, thats 9 prisoners out of 40. Someone is disappearing every day. Sometimes two people disappear, and sometimes only one may disappear. But someone disappears every day.

     No one is safe. "Sauli," Gideon hissed. It was past midnight, and Sauli has been awake all night. "I have news. Its about Adam." That gets his attention. He sits up and leans over so he can see through the bars.

     "What is it?"

     "Adam, Tommy, and the rest of the prisoners were taken to some warehouse." Gideon whispers. A _warehouse_?

    "Why?" Sauli asked. Gideon shrugged.

     "I don't know, but this is what happens. Someone comes into this prison around 1 AM, and they disable the cameras. Then, they send a few more people to pick a few prisoners, and they ask the prisoners if they trust them. If the prisoner says yes, they leave with the people."

      "How do you know this?"

     "Don't worry about it," Gideon says, backing away. "Just. Don't go to sleep. You may never wake up in the same place again."

   "Gideon, wait!" Sauli called, but Gideon had already disappeared into his bed. Sauli leaned against his wall. Is that where Adam is at? Some warehouse? _Why_? Sauli was tired of that same question. Why?

     Eventually he fell asleep. But that was interrupted when something heavy hit the floor, causing Sauli to jump out of his skin. It was still dark outside, but he could see the thing that fell was actually a person.

   Sauli jumped out of his bed and dropped to his knees on the ground, squinting in the darkness. The person was still breathing, very faintly, and Sauli felt around for a pulse. Something warm was on his hand, and it had the strong smell of metallic.

      Blood. Then his eyes adjusted to the dark and he tilted the person's head up, pulling it into his lap. "Adam." He whispered in shock. He was alive, but the question was, for how long? His face was sickly pale, and he looked physically ill.

      What happened to him? Crucial slashes marked his skin in random places. He wasn't wearing his prison outfit, but another outfit that looked like the scrubs that doctors wear. "Adam, wake up." Sauli whispered, gently shaking Adam. No response. "Adam, please. Get up." Sauli pleaded.

      Then Sauli looked up, across the hall. "Gideon! Gideon, help!" He called, his voice echoing. Never in his life has he sounded so helpless. Gideon didn't respond. Sauli leaned his head down, placing his ear in the spot where the familiar beat of Adam's heart should be. It was silent.


	8. Eight

     The guards did nothing to help Adam. They just gave him some half-ass lookover, then sent him back to his cell. Sauli tried to look Adam over better, but Adam pushed him away, shaking his head. He has no memory of leaving the cell, nor does he remember Sauli finding him. Sauli had just sat up one morning when Gideon burst through his door.

     "Sauli! You need to come quick. It's Adam." He said panting. Sauli rushed up and followed Gideon down the stairs to a large cheering crowd of inmates. Sauli's stomach twisted as he pushed through the crowd to the center. Adam was unconscious, pinned down by several inmates as a few more winded punches into his gut on one of the tables.

       How did this happen? Sauli looked up. One guard stood in the corner, casually watching. Sauli wanted to yell at the guard. Instead, he ran to the men that were beating up Adam and flung his body over Adam's, receiving the blow in his side.

     He winced in pain but held on to Adam. The man stopped and Sauli stood up, blocking the man from Adam. "Move." The man demanded. Sauli held his ground. The man lifted his fist. "You want another?" He asked.

     "Go ahead." Sauli said, his heart thrashing in his chest. The man takes a step towards Sauli and Sauli braces himself for the hit, closing his eyes. When he doesn't feel the direct contact, he makes the mistake of opening his eyes.

     And _that's_ when the man hits Sauli right in the side of his head. He goes down, landing on top of Adam, his hand flying towards his temple. He gets back up, his head pounding and his vision fuzzy.

     The man rears his fist back again but someone steps in front of Sauli. Eyebrow Scar? "Back off, Carter." Rider says. Carter frowns at Rider and Rider stares back calmly, but his eyes show anything _but_ calm.

     After a minute, Carter backs off, walking away. The crowd starts to disappear after a minute as well and Sauli collapsed back onto the ground. "You okay?" Rider asked. Sauli nodded and focused his attention on Adam, who was still unconscious.

     Blood dotted his jumpsuit in random places and he had a small gash on his left temple that was bleeding. Sauli forced himself to get up. "Adam?" He whispered. No answer.

    "Here, let me." Rider says, leaning down. "Lambert!" He said. When Adam didn't move, Rider reared his hand back and stuck Adam in the side of his face.

    "Okay, let's not do that again, thank you very much." Sauli pushed Rider away, glaring at him. After a minute, Adam's eyes opened slightly, his half lidded gaze focusing on Sauli. "You're okay." Sauli whispered. Adam's eyes closed again.

   "They beat him for a good ten minutes. There's no way he can get up, let alone _walk_ on his own. You go on back to your cell. I'll carry him _._ "

    "You're not going to slap him again, are you?" Sauli asked seriously. Rider looked at him.

      "No. I only did that to get him to open his eyes."

     "You couldn't have used a better method?"

      "He's awake, ain't he? Your little soft calls of his name wasn't working, Blondie. He's alive, and that's all that matters." Rider placed his arm under Adam's knees and his other arm behind Adam's shoulders and lifted him into the air. Sauli trailed behind.

     "Which bunk is his?" Rider asked as they entered Sauli's room.

     "He likes the top." Sauli answered. Rider nodded and lifted Adam into his bed. He turns to Sauli. "Listen. He's got a pretty good mark on the side of his head, and so you need to keep him awake. If he falls asleep right after a head injury, he can go into a coma and die."

     Sauli nodded and Rider left the room. Sauli climbed into the top bunk and gently shook Adam's shoulder. "Adam? You need to open your eyes." He whispered. No answer. He switched sides so he could lay Adam's head into his lap. Sauli ran his fingers through the soft, ebony locks.

      "Adam, babe, open your eyes." Still no response. If he didn't wake up soon, he might die. There was only one other method Sauli could think of. He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss against Adam's lips. How very cliché. After a minute, Adam's half lidded gaze returned, once again focusing on Sauli's face. "Hey. You okay?" Sauli whispered. Stupid question. He looked anything _but_ okay.

     The corner of Adam's lips raised and Sauli almost jumped in shock. Adam just smiled. Despite his condition, he just fucking _smiled_ at Sauli. It made Sauli's heart swell.

     "I want to sleep, Sauli." Adam whispered softly.

    "You can't. You got hit in the head."

    "Just a few minutes." He responded, shutting his eyes.

     "Adam, please. No. I don't want to lose you." Sauli said. Adam opened his eyes fully, looking up at Sauli. His gaze drifted to Sauli's temple and he frowned slightly. His hand reached up to touch his temple. Then he closed his eyes.

     "Why did you defend me?" He asked. Sauli's eyebrows rose.

    "How did you know?"

    "Well I was just assuming. I seriously doubt you were trying to take someone's lunch." 

     "Well, same reason why you did it for me. Now, that makes me responsible for you."

     Adam's half smile returned. "You're not hurt, are you?" He asked, his face growing serious. Sauli shook his head. 

    "Nevermind about me. I'm more concerned about you, and what happened to you." Adam looked away.

    "Adam, tell me what happened. You're covered in cuts and bruises, which was not from today. You said you trusted me."

    "I do trust you! I just--don't want to tell you, because I know you'll think of me different." Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes, and Adam fought to control his emotions before they started showing.

    "Adam, look at me."

     "No," he said, tears starting to run down his face. He went stiff, his body shaking from the iron grip he had on himself. He was losing control of himself again. Sauli decided to give him some space to calm down. He reluctantly moved away from Adam, crawling into his own bed, listening to Adam's sobs.

             It was around midnight when Sauli fell asleep. Adam tried to sleep, only to be awoken with a brutal nightmare. He came to, paralyzed with fear and drenched in sweat and his heart thrashing in his chest. He tried to stop the tears in his eyes but they flowed down his face in a matter of minutes. A sob ripped its way up his throat and that gave him away. Sauli was there in under a minute, sitting cross-legged on Adam's bed with his arms wrapped around Adam's trembling figure. Adam buried his head in the crook of Sauli's neck and inhaled deeply as he sobbed, sending a chill down Sauli's spine. "I know," Sauli murmured. "It's hard. But you'll be OK."

      A flashback of his nightmare surged through Adam’s memory and he gripped Sauli tighter in fear. “I’ve got you.” He whispered into Adam’s soft, raven hair. Adam gripped Sauli’s shirt like a lifeline and Sauli traced his fingers over Adam’s temple, coming across a jagged scar. Adam froze for a split second before Sauli covered his temple with his entire palm. To anyone else, the small gesture could’ve meant anything. But to Adam, it meant promise. The beginning of the roots in which the dirt will start to grow.

     Sauli slightly shifted and Adam grabbed his hand in a panic. “Don’t leave me.” He begged into Sauli’s neck. As if Sauli would ever. “I’m not going to.” Adam let out a broken noise mixed of relief and a sob. How could someone be so cruel to another person? Sauli couldn’t imagine what Adam went through, and he might actually kill someone if he found out.

     Adam fell asleep a few hours later, lying on his side, clutching Sauli's hand like a lifeline. Not that Sauli minded, and as creepy as it sounded, he kind of enjoyed the warmth of Adam's hand pulsing in his. Considering there was nothing that included "warmth" in this hellhole of a prison. Sauli fought the urge to lean down and kiss Adam again. He was surprised Adam didn’t question him about _why_ he kissed him a few weeks ago. It’s not like Sauli would’ve had an answer; he didn’t even know why. Adam just looked so raw and human; Sauli couldn’t help it.

Sauli was brought out of his thoughts when Adam suddenly tensed, his breathing hitched in his throat. Adam was having another nightmare. Adam squeezed Sauli’s hand harder and harder as the seconds went by, and Sauli felt his hand go numb. He lifted his other hand and slowly placed it on Adam’s rigid back. “Adam, wake up.” Sauli murmured. Either Adam didn’t hear him or he didn’t _want_ to hear him because he stayed tense, breathing hard.

    Then Adam jerked his body forward suddenly with a cry, literally screaming himself awake. His eyes opened in a nanosecond, and he yanked himself away from Sauli and jumped down from the bed, running to the wall. He panted hard against it, sweating and trembling. Sauli slowly jumped down from the bed. “Adam,” he whispered. Adam cut him off. “Don’t. Come. Near. Me.” He said through gritted teeth, backing up as far as he could, almost like he was trying to sink _into_ the wall. Sauli stopped moving.

   It was obvious that Adam was past the stage of insanity. And there was nothing Sauli could do. The last thing he wanted to do was piss Adam off. He was already unstable, and if Sauli were to piss him off, there would be hell to pay. So, Sauli quietly turned around and sat on his bed with his legs crossed. Adam was gripping the steel sink, his back to Sauli until sunrise.

   


	9. Nine

     Last night was proof that Adam was beyond the line of broken. How could someone do this to another person? Who out of their right mind could make somebody sell themselves for money that doesn't even go to the person selling themself? 

      Nobody is born that way. We're all allies until someone kills an innocent person. Then, they become the enemy. Whoever did this to Adam, _killed_ him. Killed the person he used to be. Made him into a monster. How could someone do this? The question repeats in Sauli's mind. 

       Adam didn't get out of bed all day. He lay on his side, facing the wall, silent. If he were to be any quieter, he'd be dead. Sauli didn't push the issue, and forcing him to talk would be the worst thing Sauli could ever do. He decided to wait until Adam came to him, and he did. 

     "Sauli?" Adam whispered in the middle of the night. 

     "Yeah?" Sauli responded, half asleep. 

      "Will you hold me?" He asked softly. Sauli nodded, hoisting himself onto Adam's bed. Adam was still lying on his side, so Sauli wrapped his arms around the raven haired man's waist, pulling his back into Sauli’s chest. 

     Adam breathed in and out shakily, visably trembling. "You don't know how hard it is for me to let you touch me." He whispered. Sauli opened his eyes, and Adam turned around so he could face Sauli.

    "People abused my body, Sauli. Constantly. They just cared about their own pleasure, even if that meant harming someone to get what they want. I don't know how to react when someone offers a comforting gesture to me, because I've never experienced that before. I'm used to being cut, or slapped, or some other physical abuse. My mind is alert for any sort of touch. 

      "Its so hard. I'm so afraid you're going to turn on me and beat me like everyone else, but I know you're different and I know you won't do that, but I can't help my reaction to flinch and pull away. You've got to break me of that. Help me be able to let you touch me."

     Sauli nodded once in understandment. Adam's body was abused, and it needed time to mend again and repaint what was lost. "I will help you." Sauli said. "But if I do anything that triggers something, you need to let me know."

      "I use body language." Adam explained. "I'm not good at telling someone vocally. You'll know. I promise." Sauli nodded again.

      "Okay." Then he took a deep breath. He lifted a hand causiously, as if he were approching a wild dog. Adam tensed as Sauli's hand gently cupped Adam's cheek, the pad of his thumb grazing under his eye softly. 

       Sauli pressed a soft kiss against Adam's forehead, feeling Adam relax underneath his hand. "Do you trust me?" He whispered. Adam nodded.

      "Yes." 

 

 


	10. Ten

          Today was the first start of their "therapy." It goes like this: Sauli needs to gain Adam's trust. Although Adam told Sauli he trusted him, Sauli needs to actually believe that, by Adam showing him that he trusted him. Easier said than done.

          "Do you trust me?" Sauli asked. Adam nodded. 

            "Yes."

           "Do you actually believe that?" Adam hesitated. 

            "Yes." Sauli frowned. "I really do, its just...I'm having a hard time finding the right words." Sauli shook his head. 

            "Don't worry about the words. Just speak your mind. I'm not here to judge you. Say whatever you want. We've got the next ten years." Adam's half smile returned, but it vanished quicky as he remembered something. 

           "Oh God." He mumbled, his eyes widening. Sauli looked up.

         "What is it?"

       "I heard two guards talking about you today."

        "About me? What'd they say?"

        "You know how you were framed for murder? Well, they found the actual murderer that killed her." Sauli's face grew pale.

         "Who?"

      "The name doesn't sound familiar, and its hard to pronounce. Its like...Niko....I think that's how you pronounce it. He's from Finland." Sauli's hand went towards his mouth. 

        "Are you okay?" Adam asked, his face growing concerned. 

        "Niko was my friend a long time ago. How could he kill an innocent person? Oh God, this is horrible. What does that mean for me?" 

    Adam bit his lip. "I think that means you're getting out. Once they put Niko behind bars, that makes you free. You can leave this hellhole."

     "What about you?" Sauli asked. Adam shook his head.

      "I'm charged for murder, Sauli. There's no way they're going to let me out."

      "But you were framed as well." Sauli reminded him. 

       "True, but you forget I'm also charged on prostitution. Although I was only charged for nine months, and that already passed, like three years ago."

        "But I don't want to leave you."

        "Don't be silly. If I were you, I'd take the first opportunity to get the hell out of here. Don't worry about me. Just go. Get your life back."

     The atmosphere had suddenly taken a drastic turn downhill. Is Sauli actually free? Can he go back to what he once had? But what about Adam? Sauli can't leave him. Not when he's finally starting to heal. 

     "If it's true, and if I leave, I'm going to get you out too." Adam snorted.

     "Good luck with that. I'm in here for life. I'm not getting out."

      "Not if I can help it. I'm not leaving without you, so pack your toothbrush because I'm getting you and I out together." 

   --

 Adam was right. The guards did come get Sauli, two days later. Unfortunately, unlike most prisoners, Sauli wasn't ready to leave.

   "Adam, please don't let them take me." He pleaded, clinging to him. 

    "Can you give us a moment?" Adam asked the guards. 

     "Make it quick. We've got lives to get back to." One of the guards muttered, walking out of the cell. Adam pulled Sauli away from him so he could look him in the eyes, which were wet from tears. 

       "Listen to me." Adam said, shaking his shoulders slightly. "You're free now. Go, live, and embrace it. Don't worry about me. I'll be alright."

       "I can't leave you." Sauli whispered, more tears falling.

       "Sauli, this is already hard enough. Please don't make me cry."

        "I can't leave you because I love you! Alright? I'm in love with you and damn it I don't care!" Adam froze. "I don't want to leave you because I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

    Sauli choked on a sob. At first he thought Adam was going to slap him; the way he looked at him. Instead, Adam surprised him by grabbing the back of Sauli's neck and kissing him. He tasted dusty and sweet. And after a minute, Adam pulled away. 

        "Listen to me, you have a future going for you. Go and live it. Don't worry about me. I'm not going anywhere, I can assure you that." 

          "Koskinen!" The guards bark. "Lets go unless you want us to carry you out." Sauli looked back at Adam. 

           "Come with me." He pleaded. 

          "Now you know I can't do that." Adam whispered. He pulled Sauli close to him, hugging him tightly until he was literally ripped from his grasp by the guards. Sauli thrashed and carried on in the guards' grip as he was dragged down the hall, his shouts ringing down the hall. Adam's arms dropped limply to his sides after a moment. There was a large crash, and suddenly Sauli was running back into the cell, jumping into Adam's arms.

          "I love you." He said through his tears. Adam swallowed a lump in his throat as he held Sauli impossibly closer.

          "I love you too, Sauli. Go on now." He said, his voice cracking. He cleared his throat, puling away from the hug. The guards came back into the room, looking even more pissed. They firmly grabbed Sauli's arm, pulling him out of the room. Sauli looked back at Adam one last time before he disappeared from sight. Adam watched through his window as a woman— assumed to be his mother—ran to Sauli, pulling him into a rib-crushing hug. A single tear hit the windowpane as Adam watched Sauli get into a car with his mother and drive off. 

         


	11. Eleven

      "Nothing has changed since you left." Sauli's mother babbled. "I knew it. I know my son, and he's not a killer. I told that damn judge you were falsely accused. But she didn't listen. And now look. My son is free again." She wiped her face for about the millionth time. When Sauli had emerged from the prison, she broke down into happy tears. 

        "We'll get you out of that horrible prison jumpsuit, and we'll burn it later. I hope I never have to see you in that thing again." She said. Sauli nodded once, watching the scenery go by. He wasn't really listening as his mother rambled on. He was more focused on figuring out how to get Adam out of jail. There was no way Sauli was going to get him out illegally. He was going to have to find Adam's mother, and get her to talk. He couldn't tell Adam about this—he'd burst into a ball of flames if he found out Sauli was going to talk to her.

       "Sauli?" He jerked in alarm, brought out of his thoughts.

       "Huh?"

      "I said we're home."

  He glanced out the window. "Oh, okay." His mother touched his hand.

  "Are you okay? Those men didn't do anything right? They didn't try to rape you? They didn't—"

"Mom! God no, they didn't do anything!"

    "Good. Because I know in prison, there are some freaky gays in there."

   Sauli froze. "W-what?" He asked.

     "I said, there are some freaky gays in that prison. And I don't want their kind getting near my son." Their kind? What the fuck did that mean?

     "What do you mean, _their kind?"_ Sauli asked carefully as he got out of the car. 

      "The fags, Sauli. You know...buttfuckers, queers, bean flickers, they're all the same. Thank God you didn't catch that disease. Your cousin Kaitlyn did unfortunately. And shes not welcome in this house anymore" 

        "So you think being gay is a disease." Sauli was keeping his face calm, although he wanted to lock his hands around his mother's throat.  His mother nodded. 

         "A sick disease that needs a cure. But I have nothing to worry about. My son will find a nice girl someday, and he can start his life the right way. Come on now, lets get you out of that horrible outfit." She said, motioning him inside. 

         Its been over a month until Sauli was able to take a shower. Its the best feeling in the world. The water was almost black as it swirled down the drain. He showered twice in the same hour.

     He brushed his teeth over and over again because they didn't allow that in prison, and he was trying to make up for the loss. And he was finally able to dress in clothes that he wanted to dress in. He was free, but he still felt locked inside his mind. Adam. It was going to be hard to get him out, but Sauli was going to try. 

     --

   "So after I came out, as expected, my parents didn't take it well. I'm practically disowned in my house, and your mother really took it well. She and your father disowned me as well." Kaitlyn said, digging the toe of her sneaker into the ground. Sauli was able to meet her in the park today, after he went around town, people welcoming him back and swarming him with questions. He told her everything.

       "I honestly didn't know my mother was homophobic. The way she talked about them...it was so hateful. I never heard my mother speak like that."

       "Does she know you're gay?" Kaitlyn asked, brushing a strand of her dark, curly hair from her face. Sauli shook his head. 

        "God no. I recently have been thinking of telling them, but how can I after what she said? She thinks I'm some straight guy that is going to fall in love with a girl someday."

          "Has she ever suspected it, or questioned you about it?"

           "No. To her, I'm her straight son." 

           "Well..." Kaitlyn said thoughtfully. "Wait until you get Adam out of jail. Then, you need to approch her in a civil manner and explain whats going on. Don't just show up and say, _'hey mom, I'm going outside. Oh and by the way, I'm gay!'_ No, don't do that. If you do this the right way, she'll have a easier chance of accepting it." 

       Sauli nodded. "So... you and this Adam character. Is he cute?" Kaitlyn asked, smiling and nudging Sauli. 

        "I think he's beautiful."

       "You know, I've know him since I was about fourteen."

        "Really? How?"

      "He was always hanging around my brother, Isaac. They used to do theater together. We knew about his little secret of prostitution, but we never really saw that as defining who he was. The last time I saw Adam was when he was fifteen, and Isaac and I were in the stands for the court. I haven't seen him since."

            "How am I going to get him out?" Sauli asked, running a hand through his hair. 

           "Well. Talk to his mother Leila Lambert. Get her to confess that she framed Adam, then take that information to the court with the judge that sentenced Adam." 

           "You realize you're going to have to help me, right?" Kaitlyn nodded. 

          "I was going to help you anyway."

        "We need to find his house first." Sauli said. Kaitlyn waved her hand in dismissal. 

         "I got that covered. I remember his adress. What's next?"

         Well,  finding his address was the easy part. The hard part was finding out what to do next. 


	12. Twelve

         Sauli found a printout map of Adam's address. Kaitlyn insisted she went with him in case he needed "backup." Adam's house was fairly large, but it wasn’t ridiculously large. There were neat trimmed bushes in the front yard. A white picket fence lined the yard and a hammock swung gently between two trees. 

        "Now Kaitlyn, please don't say anything that is...over the top." Sauli said as they approched the door.

        "I have no idea what you're talking about." Kaitlyn said. "I never say anything that is over the top." Sauli looked at her. 

        "Just please. Keep quiet." He lifted his hand and knocked twice. He stepped back a little when the door opened. A tall, brown haired woman smiled at them. 

         "Hello? Can I help you two?" Sauli put on his best smile and he nudged Kaitlyn to do the same. 

          "Good afternoon. Are you Mrs. Lambert?"

     "I am indeed. What's up?"

    "May we come inside? We need to talk about something." Mrs. Lambert glanced over her shoulder. 

      "Yes, but it can't be for long. I'm making dinner in the oven."

       "I promise it will only take a few minutes." Sauli said. Mrs. Lambert motioned them inside and pointed to two chairs in the living room. 

       "We'll sit right here." She said, her heels tapping on the polished hardwood floors as she made her way to a seat across from the teens. "What's this about?"

       "Its a school prodject. I'm supposed to ask a stranger questions to see what their life is like." Kaitlyn piped. Sauli threw her a look.

         "Yes, thats right." He said. Mrs. Lambert nodded.

          "Alright. Ask away." She said. "Oh! I almost forgot. Can I get you two anything? Water? Tea?"

          "No, I'm fine. Thank you. Kaitlyn?"

           "Yes, I'd like some tea." She said with a smile. Sauli threw her another warning look.  

            Thankfully, Mrs. Lambert didn't see Sauli's look.

             "Alright. You two hang tight and I'll be right back." She said, getting up and leaving the room. Sauli waited until she was out of earshot before punching Kaitlyn in the arm.

            "Ow!" She screeched. "What was that for?"

            "Hey _dipshit_ , what are you doing? We're not supposed to be drawing attention to ourselves. Do you want her to get suspicious?"

           "Calm down. Looks like someone's _man-struating_. She asked if I wanted tea and I said yes. She's not suspicious, so would you calm down?"

          Sauli took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I'm just nervous she's--"

          "The water is warming up." Mrs. Lambert said as she breezed back into the room. "Shall we begin?" Sauli cleared his throat.

          "If that's alright, my parter Kaitlyn has a recorder so we can record the conversation and write it down later."

           "Yes, thats fine."

        Sauli nodded. "Alright, question one. Mrs. Lambert, do you have any children?" 

        "You can call me Leila. And yes, I have a beautiful son. His name is Neil." Sauli looked up, surprised. 

         "Do you have any other children?" He asked. 

          Leila shook her head. "Nope. Just one. And he's my pride and joy." 

          "How old is he?" 

        "He just turned fourteen last month."

        "Would it be alright if we interviewed him too?" Sauli asked. 

         "Uh.. sure I guess. I don't know if he'll be any help to you guys. He doesn't really know much."

          "We'll keep the questions simple." Sauli promised. "Do you mind if we interview him first?"

         "Just so your dinner that you're making doesn't burn. We don't want to hold you up." Kaitlyn said. Leila nodded. 

         "You're right. He's upstairs in his room, to your left. I'll be in the kitchen." She ventured off again and Sauli grabbed his folder with Adam's file. They climbed the stairs to a room where Neil was sitting, watching TV. Sauli softly knocked on his open door and Neil turned his head. 

         "Who are you?" He demanded, shutting off the TV and getting up. 

        "I'm Sauli and this is my friend Kaitlyn. We're not here to harm you, so the potato gun isn't necessary." Neil squinted at Sauli before dropping the gun next to his bed. 

        "Why are you here?" He demanded again. 

       "We just need to ask you some questions. Nothing serious."

       "Well then, sit there." Neil said, pointing to two chairs. Sauli ushered Kaitlyn to the chair and Neil sat down on his bed. "What's up?"

       "Do you have any siblings, Neil? A sister or a brother?" Neil shook his head. He glanced at his desk before his eyes darted away. Sauli looked at his desk. There was a photo of a dark haired boy holding a newborn. The boy looked so happy. Freckles dotted his face, and a beautiful smile graced his cheeks. With the dark hair and the blue eyes....

       Sauli almost choked. THAT was Adam in that photo! How stupid could he get? He nudged Kaitlyn. Her eyes wandered to the photo and she nodded. Standing up swiftly, she walked to the photo frame. "Who is this?" She asked, showing Neil the photo. 

        "That's my broth--no one." Neil said , cutting himself off quickly. 

        "You said you didn't have any siblings." 

        "I don't." Neil said defensively. 

        "Really? Because on the back of this photo, it says Adam holding his brother Neil for the first time." Kaitlyn says, turning over the photo to reveal writing. Neil sighs heavily and runs to his door, shutting it. 

         "Okay look, you can't tell anyone about this. But yes that is my brother, Adam. He's....not here anymore."

         "What happened to him?" Sauli asked, sitting down again.

         "Adam is gay, and I really don't know what that means. What is it?"

         "Well..." Sauli glanced at Kaitlyn. "Its when man has feelings for another man."

         "What kind of feelings?" 

          "Uh--"

          "Sexual." Kaitlyn blurted. Sauli kicked her. 

          "What's sexual?"

          "Nothing." _How in the hell did he not know what sexual meant?_ "Just a made up word. Nevermind that. Tell me; when was the last time you saw your brother?" Neil tilted his head back in thought. Then he shrugged.

         "Do you know where he's at? I miss him." He looked down. Sauli reached into his folder.

          "This is a recent photo of him." He said, passing it to Neil. He inhaled slowly, tracing the picture with his fingers. Then he started crying. 

         "I miss him so much. How old is he?"

           "18." Kaitlyn answered. Neil shook his head. 

          "He didn't kill our dad. Dad died of a heart attack and mom blamed him. She sent him to jail."

           "We're trying to get him out." Sauli said, taking the photo back. 

            "Really?" His face lit up.

         "Neil? I--" Leila stopped dead in her tracks when she entered the room. Sauli jerked his hand behind him to hide the picture but it was too late. She saw Adam's photo. Her mouth dropped as she saw more and more photos of Adam from the folder in Sauli's hand.

           "Imposters!" She screamed. "Thieves are taking my belongings! I'm calling the police!" She screamed as she ran down the stairs. The _fuck_?

            "Run Kaitlyn!" Sauli was up in half a second, running to the door. Kaitlyn ran right after him, Neil on their heels.

           "There's a drawer in mom's room with Adam's files. Everything about him is in there. Take it. Find my brother!" Neil pulled Sauli into a room, running to a drawer. He opened it and handed Sauli a file. "Go! You should find what you're looking for in there!" Neil whispered. Sauli nodded in thanks and ran out of the room, down the stairs and outside. Kaitlyn got into her car and turned on the engine. Sauli jumped in and slammed the door shut and Kaitlyn sped off.

          "Well. That was eventful." Kaitlyn panted as she turned down a street, slowing down now that they were out of sight. "She freaked out when she saw Adam's photo. Maybe she thought we knew something."

           "Well we do." Sauli answered, feeling his heart go back to normal. "And now we have even more information." He said, waving Adam's file.

 


	13. Thirteen

     Torture. That was the only word to describe looking through Adam's files. _Torture_. He was hated since the day he was born. At three, his mother pressed his hand against the stove, which was turned on, burning his hand. At six, his father sexually assulted him twice, and at 10, his own mother tried to kill him with a knife.

      "Oh my God." Kaitlyn murmured, flipping through another stack of pictures. It was easy to tell he was being abused. An idiot could see that. Hell, even Ray Charles could see that, and he was blind.

     "Look at this photo. Look at that cut on his hip. It looks like he was attacked by an animal!" Sauli's breath hitched in his throat when Kaitlyn showed him the photo. Adam was thirteen. He was lying on the ground, eyes shut.

     Bruises, scars and burn marks dotted his face and body. He looked sickly pale and malnourished. Sauli's stomach twisted when he read the back of the photo. _'Happy birthday Adam.'_ He wanted to cry and throw up at the same time. Its one thing to beat a child, but to take pictures and humiliate them like this? This was so wrong. So, so very wrong. 

     "Here's his biography." Sauli whispered. "Its written by him." Then he cleared his throat and began reading aloud. "My name is Adam Mitchel Lambert, born January 29th 1982. Right now, I'm 16 years old. My family hates me because of who I am. My brother is the only one that likes me because he's too little to understand anything. Mom said she wants me dead. I want to die too.

    "She's come at me twice with a knife, and I don't know why I defend myself. I'm gay. That's why I'm hated. She calls me a filthy cunt, a cocksucker, a fag, and everything else. I hurt everyday. Its a battle for survival. And yet, somehow I still get back up. Why? I hope one day I'll get out of this hellhole and live to persue my dream of becoming a singer. But it takes real courage to grow up into who you are, and to be able to embrace it." 

         Tears swelled in Sauli's eyes. This was so heartbreaking. Kaitlyn was actually crying. "We need to get him out of there." She said. "He doesn't even remember what his parents did to him when he was really young. And if he finds out....Oh God." 

       "We won't tell him. Let him find out for himself and we'll help him with the trauma." Sauli said, closing the file. "We need to take this to the police." 

       "I feel like we invaded his privacy. "

      "We did, but it will help him. We just need to get this to the police." 

     "You sure this'll work?"

     "I don't know." Sauli admitted. "But I love Adam more than anything, and he deserves justice. And I'm going to try, even if it kills me."


	14. Chapter 14

   In the morning, Sauli and Kaitlyn went to the police station. He had to lie to his mother, telling her he wanted to walk around town and see if he remembers everything. She insisted he stayed home so she could get him enrolled for school that was starting soon, but Sauli said it was something he had to do and it was personal. She finally agreed.

         "Can I help you two?" A female said at the front desk. Sauli places the folder on the desk. 

         "Yes. My friend and I would like to speak to a detective."

          "I'm going to need a little more information, honey." She said, clicking her tongue. 

           "My cousin was wrongfully accused of first degree murder when he was fourteen, and he was sentenced to life in prison. I have this file, showing proof that in his household, he was abused constantly, and had to endure horrible living conditions at the hands of his mother." The woman blinked at Sauli. 

             "Excuse me for a moment." She said, disappearing into the back. Kaitlyn nudged Sauli with her hip.

              "Your cousin?" She hissed. 

             "It slipped out." Sauli whispered back. "Just go along with it."

             "Follow me." She said, poking her head around the corner. Sauli grabbed his file and followed Kaitlyn down the hallway. "Detective Brandon. Here are the children." She said as Sauli and Kaitlyn entered the room. She nodded once at Sauli and left the room. 

           A tall man with dark hair and dark skin turned around in the chair he was sitting in. "Sit." He said harshly, motioning to the two metal chairs in front of his desk. Sauli and Kaitlyn didn't hesitate. They scrambed to the chairs. Detective Brandon pinched the bridge of his nose. "Alright. Charlotte tells me that you two have evidence that someone is being abused?"

           Sauli straightened up in his chair. "Yes sir. We have a file--"

           "Give it to me." Brandon said, cutting him off. Sauli handed him the file, ignoring the look from Kaitlyn. Brandon opened the file, his face expressionless as he flipped through Adam's papers. Sauli chewed his lip anxiously and glanced at Kaitlyn. She was tapping her foot vigorously and looked at the ground. 

           Finally, Brandon sighed heavily and his face sofened. "Adam Lambert. Sentenced to life in prison for the murder of his father Eber. And you're telling me that he was abused and was wrongfully accused?" Sauli nodded slowly. "Where did you get this file?" 

          "Uh, from his mother's house." 

       "Did she give you permission to take this file?" 

        "Well...um..--"

       "We got permission from Adam's brother to take the file."

       "So just to be clear, Mrs. Lambert did not give you permission to take this file?"

       "No." Sauli admitted. Brandon sighed again. 

       "But she wouldn't have let us if she knew what we were going to do." Kaitlyn defended. 

        "Correct, but its still considering stealing if the owner did not give you permission."

          "Please sir. Adam never killed his father. He died after a heart attack and his mother blamed Adam for his death. Adam has been in jail since he was 14, and he's 18 now. He was wrongfully accused."

        "Who told you that he didn't kill his father?"

          "Neil, his brother. He was a witness." Kaitlyn said. Brandon flipped back a few pages. 

          "Even if we do take this to court, Mr. Lambert was already supposed to be in jail for prostitution."

           "But he's been in that jail for four years, and he was only charged for nine months." Sauli reminded him. "Nine months had already passed four years ago. He's clean." 

           "And what is your relation to Mr. Lambert again?" Brandon asked. 

           "He's my cousin." He hated lying to a cop, but he had to get Adam out of jail. He didn't deserve this.

         "And you?" He asked Kaitlyn.

         "I'm also his cousin." She said without hesitation. Brandon nodded.

           "I'll tell you what. I was the one that handled his case back when he was first sentenced. I'm going to send you two to court with this information, to the same judge that sentenced him. Mrs. Lambert and Neil Lambert are both to appear in court. Mr. Lambert himself will be there as well." 

           "How are we going to do this?" Sauli muttered under his breath to Kaitlyn.  

           "I'm going to help you. My uncle is one of the best lawyers in the United States. I will ask him to stand in trial for Mr. Lambert, and be his attorney. Its your job to explain to the judge what happened, and hopefully she'll release Adam and arrest his mother for child abuse and neglect. Since Mr. Lambert is eighteen, he is old enough to take care of himself after his release." Brandon said.

           "I appreciate it, sir." Sauli said.

          "Now listen, kid. Judge Harper is tough. You need to have a really good argument, or Mr. Lambert will not be released. Do you understand?"

         "Yes sir." Sauli and Kaitlyn said at the same time.

         "Good. I'll give you the number to the court house so you can schedule a date for the trial. You two are authorized to do this on your own, right?"

         "Yes sir, we are both eighteen."

         "Alright. Here's the number, and also my number at the bottom in case you discover something. Let me know when the date is schedueled so I can prepare my uncle."

         "Thank you, sir." Sauli said, standing. Brandon shook his hand.

        "Good luck." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PENIS! Now that I have your attention, please note that I am updating as often as I can. School has started for me, and I'm in tennis and drama/theater. I don't have as much time as I used to. Please do not get mad at me if I do not update for a few days, its strictly because I'm busy. But I promise you'll have at least 2 updates a week. There will be some chapters where it'll be some favorites for a few of you;) keep commenting and sending love because it encourages me to write better chapters for you. Thanks guys, love you.


	15. Fifteen

     The date was scheduled. October 19th at 10:30pm. Adam, Sauli, Kaitlyn, Neil, and Mrs. Lambert were to appear in court. Leila was arrested and taken into custody until the trial when she found out Sauli went to the police. Neil was staying with a relative until the court date, since Leila was no longer at home. Sauli finally told his mother the truth, and she was outraged. But she really couldn't do anything; Sauli _had_ to appear in court. But, man she was pissed.

         The night before the trial, Sauli and Kaitlyn went through everything they needed to do, making sure the arguments were valid. "You do know there will be a prosecutor that will literally do anything to keep Adam in jail, right?" Kaitlyn said as she grabbed the file. 

         "Well, they better find a really good one because Adam hasn't broken the law since he was 14." Sauli countered. 

          "Have you spoken to Brandon's lawyer yet?"

          "No. I haven't even seen him. I called Brandon yesterday and he said that his uncle would be at the courthouse." 

         "I hope he's good."

        "Brandon said he was one of the best lawyers in the United States, so hopefully he's right." 

     --

 

         The day of the trial was today. Sauli, Adam, and Kaitlyn's faces were plastered on newspapers, magazines, and even on the news. It only applyed more pressure on Sauli. The question on everyone's mind. 'Will Adam be released from jail?' 

         Sauli had to dress formal, so he wore his suit that was bought for him a few years ago. His mother finally stopped ignoring him and straightened his tie. "Good luck, honey. I'll be waiting for you." Kaitlyn was waiting for Sauli at the bottom of his driveway, next to her black Camaro. 

           "Ready?" She asked. She had this bright red dress on, and her frizzy, black hair was tied back into a ponytail. Sauli nodded, feeling a wave of nausea wash over him. In the car, they were silent, both too nervous and concentrated to what the day would follow. Today was the day. Either Adam would be released or he'd stay in that hellhole forever. 

         Kaitlyn pulled up to the courthouse. There were people with cameras everywhere. Paparazzi. Of course. "Don't say anything. Just take my hand and keep your head down." Kaitlyn ordered, stepping out of the car. Cameras flashed away, nearly blinding both of them. People screamed their names, shouted questions, and pushed against the security that guarded the gates. A large man dressed in a suit approched them. "Hello. I'm Colten, Brandon's uncle. You are Sauli and Kaitlyn, yes?"

          "Yes sir." Sauli answered, vaguely surprised the man got the pronunciation right on his name. 

            "Are you prepared?"

           "Yes."

          "Good because this is a big case. I doubt it's going to take a few minutes. There is a lot of evidence to go over. And Mr. Lambert is already inside. Shall we begin?"

           Sauli nodded, unable to trust his voice. Kaitlyn grabbed his hand and squeezed it. She flashed him a look as they began walking up the court steps. Sauli squeezed back just as hard. 

 

         ---

    

        A large woman dressed in a tight dress sat in a corner of the room, shuffling through a stack of papers. Is this the prosecutor? "We stand here. Since Neil is a witness, he will not actually stand trial, but the judge may want to speak to him. Sauli, I will be doing most of the talking. Only speak when asked. Understand?"

            "Yes sir. Who is that woman?" Sauli dropped his voice to a whisper.

          "That is Jane Henry. She's going to be the woman that will stand trial for Mrs. Lambert. She's the prosecutor." Great. Sauli nodded, feeling nauseous again. "Come now. Its about to start."

            People started filling into the court,  taking their seats. Sauli and Kaitlyn took their seats next to their podium with Colten. Neil and Mrs. Lambert showed up, escorted by police. There was a rattling sound of metal and Sauli turned his head. A very thin, dark haired man in an navy blue prison jumpsuit shuffled into the courtroom, his head down. Sauli instinctively grabbed Kaitlyn's hand. She turned in his direction and saw what he was staring at. Feeling two pairs of eyes trained on him, the man looked up and Sauli almost screamed. Adam.

      No.

      No.

      _No_.

       This wasn't right. Why did he look so underfed? His face. Oh God, his face. It was decorated in black and blue bruises, covering his temple, his nose, his lips. What happened? Adam blinked at Sauli once before looking away as he was directed to sit down in a chair. Why was he handcuffed? Why did he look so broken? "Its like I'm looking at the photos in his file all over again." Sauli whispered, horrified. He had to swallow down bile. 

              "All rise." A male cop announced once the doors were shut. Everyone rose. "Please be seated." Kaitlyn squeezed Sauli's hand one last time. Here we go. "Judge Renee Harper is here and Court is now in session. " 


	16. Sixteen

"Mr. Troy, the defendent claims that Mr. Lambert was sentenced to life in prison at fourteen. Yes?" 

      "Yes your honor." Coden replied. Judge Harper nodded. The case has been going on for hours now. Sauli has only spoken once, and that was for him to swear to tell the truth. Colten has been handling everything so far.

       "Mrs. Lambert. I've been informed that you and your husband have convicted forced sexual acts more than once on your son, at age 10. Not to mention, beating him on a daily basis. Is that true?" Sauli fought to look over at Adam. He couldn't know about this. The beatings, duh, but the rape? That was doubtful. 

        "I object." Mrs. Lambert said loudly. "He was totally willing to give himself to my husband." Now _that_ time, Sauli did look over at Adam, whose jaw was clenched tightly, his eyes wide as he stared straight ahead. What a sick, twisted bitch. Did she really think she was fooling anyone?

         "It doesn't matter if he wanted to do it, the point is, he was a _minor_ , and your husband was an _adult_. And I highly doubt that Mr. Lambert was willing to give himself up, based by his expression." All eyes shifted to Adam. 

         "Lets continue, and just see how _willing_ he was to you. At age three, you forced his hand upon a hot stove, at ten the sexual assult, and at 14 you tried to kill him twice." 

        "Your honor? I have one more file about Adam." Neil said, holding out the file. The officer took it from him and gave it to Harper. She opened the file and Sauli frowned. There was only one file of Adam's past. Not two. 

        "What's in this file?" Judge Harper asked.

       Neil cleared his throat. "It is more information and photos of Adam's past. These are the things that Adam is not aware of."

       "Why?"

  Neil hesitated. "Because he doesn't know." He said finally. It was as if Sauli could literally feel Adam stiffen from the other side of the room.

     "Oh God." Judge Harper shook her head slightly and she flipped through the papers. She flipped through, reading papers, for what seemed like years. Then she finally looked up. "For two years, Mr. Lambert was trapped inside a small, dark closet, being constantly sexually abused on a daily basis. He was left without food, water, and had to live in his own urine and feces."

      There was a sound. It sounded like a thunderclap. And not just any thunderclap. The kind where everybody jumps, and the lights flicker and you can literally feel your heartrate speed up as the walls shake. Sauli looked over in the direction of the noise. Adam had both cuffed hands raised to his mouth. He made that noise.

   His eyes were shut, and tears were running down his face. He was crying. Sauli wanted to scream. He was so broken. So, so broken. He wanted to run to Adam and hold onto him. Apparently Neil and Sauli had the same idea because he ran around the podium and ran straight to Adam, jumping into his arms. Nobody moved. Everyone watched as Adam wrapped his hands around Neil as best as he could while both cried. Even Judge Harper had tears in her eyes. People in the stands were crying. Finally Judge Harper cleared her throat.

     "Mr. Neil. Come here." She said, motioning to the podium next to her. Neil finally let go of Adam and went to the podium. "Let me ask you a question, although its pretty obvious. Do you love your brother?"

      "Yes ma'am."

      "Do you miss him?"

      "You can't even imagine. I miss him so much. And there's something I'd like to say to him." Neil looked across the room at Adam. "May I, your honor?" She nodded and Neil cleared his throat.

      "Mom never laid a hand on me, at the time when she was beating Adam. I wished she did though. I wanted her to beat me, so Adam wouldn't be alone. I heard it all. The rape. His agony. And I couldn't do anything about it. Well, I could, but I didn't. And now my brother in prison."

     Neil raised his head to the ceiling and hollow laughed once. His eyes were watering again. "Adam, I am so sorry. I just should've told the police that she was lying. You didn't kill dad. I knew that. I am so sorry. I love you so much." 

    "Thank you Neil. You may sit down now. Mr. Koskinen?" Sauli raised his head. "Come up here." Sauli glanced at Kaitlyn before walking to the podium. "Mr. Koskinen, you said that during your time in prison, at one point Mr. Lambert defended you, in a fight with another inmate. Do you know why?"

     "I think it was because he saw I wasn't a threat to him. I wasn't going to treat him badly, and if anything, I want to give him the love and protection that his parents failed to give. I love him." Judge Harper closed Adam's file. 

     "Then its settled. Mrs. Lambert will be sentenced to twenty years in prison for the charge of attempted murder, sexual abuse, 8 counts of rape, and child abuse. And Adam Lambert will be released from prison." 


	17. Seventeen

     Adam was released the following day. Sauli came to the prison to pick him up and he almost cried. He already _did_ cry when Judge Harper announced his release, so sue him.

      When Adam stepped through the gate, Sauli saw a different person. He looked like a free man now. And that was the best feeling in the world. Sauli got out of his car and ran towards him, jumping into his arms. Adam's breathing was unsteady and short, but that was from the relief and shock he felt, being able to hold Sauli for the first time as a free man. "Come on." Sauli whispered, taking his hand.

      The entire ride home, Adam had his eyes trained on the window, watching the scenery go by. "Do you remember any of it?" Sauli asked, glancing over at him. Adam shook his head.

      "It all feels so different for me. Like, I remember some of this stuff, but then I don't. Like everything has changed, but yet it hasn't." Then he laughed slightly. "I'm not making any sense." A smile tugged at Sauli's lips as he watched Adam roll down the window and stick his head out like a dog. Adam rested his head on the window, feeling the air rush through his hair. He closed his eyes, finally able to feel the sun on his face. He was _free_. 

        Now here's the tricky part. Where was Adam going to stay? "I'm sure my mother will allow you to stay at my house--"

         "I have a home." Adam said. Sauli blinked.

           "You do? How?"

       Adam leaned back into the car and shrugged. "Well, I was ten and I already had up to the thousands in money. At the time, I was still being abused so I gave the money to Jace so he could buy a house, since he was older. And I've lived there since before my arrest."

       "Who's Jace?"

    "My former pimp." Adam stated, like he was telling the weather. Very matter-of-factly. "Jace is the one who found me, and offered me the job. Of course he explained it different to me, telling me that I could make a lot of money by serving people. And I thought I was actually going to serve people, like in a restaurant. God, was I wrong."

    "Couldn't you leave?" Sauli asked. Adam shook his head.

     "Jace had two guards named Michael and André. André always tracked my every move. But Michael was more relaxed about the situation. If I didn't want to work, Michael didn't force me to. He'd make up some excuse for me to Jace and André, and most of the time it worked. Unlike all of my customers, Michael cared about my feelings. I was attached to him. And when I was sentenced, he promised me he'd still be there and he would take care of the house."

      "Are you going back to what you were doing before?" Sauli feared his answer. Adam hesitated. 

       "I have to, Sauli." Adam said gently. "I can't leave. Its all I know _how_ to do." His words stung, but Sauli knew that this would happen. He didn't expect Adam to drop everything that he's ever known and take on the world without knowing what to do. But that didn't mean Sauli wouldn't stop trying to help him. 

        Sauli nodded once in understandment and silence took over. He was going back to being an escort. Sauli couldn't accept that. He knew he had to try, for Adam's sake, but how could he when he knew that just a few doors away, Adam would be tossed around like a toy in the hands of a careless child?

     "This is it." Adam whispered, causing Sauli to stop the car. He opened his door and got out, walking around to the front of the three-story house. "3537 Longfellow Lane." He went through an open gate, and walked up to the front door. Sauli followed. "I think I remember the pin." Adam said, typing in a password on the side of the wall.

       "Access granted." A female voice said through the speaker. Adam looked back and smiled at Sauli before opening the door and stepping inside. The inside of the house was normal. It didn't have unnecessary items that only were there to add weathiness to the house, or anything. Adam took a few steps inside the house, walking slowly, almost unsurely.

      There was a framed photo hanging on the wall, and it looked like a painting of a handprint. Adam noticed it too and made his way over to the photo. Detaching it from the hook, Adam held the frame in his hands, slowly placing his left hand over the photo. "This is my handprint." He whispered in realization. "I did this the day I was sentenced." 

      "I never took it down." A voice said from behind the men. Adam and Sauli whipped around. A large, muscular man that looked to be in his late 40s with light blond hair, stared at Adam with a hard expression. Adam's lips curled into a mixture between a smile and a slight trembling as he came toward the man, wrapping his arms around his waist. "Welcome back kid." The man said. This must be Michael. "You're all over the news. People are excited you're back." 

      "I couldn't imagine why," Adam said, pulling away. 

      "I see you're still stubborn and thick headed like you always were. Nothing has changed. Except this man standing next to you. First day back and you already have a customer?" 

       Sauli mentally cringed, and Adam cringed _physically_ at Michael's words and he wrapped an arm around Sauli's shoulders. "No, Michael. This is Sauli. He's my friend."

      Michael nodded. "Well, we're just glad you're back." He said. Then he turned to Sauli. "I don't know what relationship you have with him, but be careful. He's a wild one, but he's got one hell of a mouth, or so I've been told." He said, winking. Adam winced behind him and Sauli nodded, uncomfortable.

      "Where's Jace?" Adam asked, changing the subject.

     "Right now he's in North Carolina. He's recruiting people."

    " _Still?"_

    "Well duh. Things haven't been exactly normal since you were arrested, Adam. None of the others could live up to the standards of the people, thanks to you for being their top favorite. Jace has been practically around the world, searching for young teens that even had a slight _resemblance_ to you.

       "Hair, eyes, nose, anything. He didn't care about the age or the height, just as long as they could be compared to Adam Lambert." Adam shivered at the thought of Jace picking up a ten year old boy, tricking him into God knows what.

    "Does Jace know I'm back?"

    "He'd have to be blind and deaf not to know." Michael said, picking up a remote and turning on the T.V. A woman with brown hair was standing at what Adam recognized was his mother's house.

    "Former world-wide prostitute Adam Lambert has been reported that he was released from jail on Wednesday, February 19th. Athorities say that Lambert was wrongfully accused of the murder of his father, Eber Lambert. Lambert's mother Leila was charged with more than five rape counts, and child abuse. The real question is, what does this mean for Adam? Will he speak out about his freedom? I'm Darcy Robinson, San Diego, California." Michael turned off the T.V.

     "I'm sure he's seen something about you. He'll be returning in a few days, so I'm warning you. I hope you haven't lost your routine. I'm sure after a few people you'll start to remember. A lot of people pay for that mouth of yours." Michael patted Adam on the shoulder. "I'm on my way to the gym. Welcome back sugar pants." He smirked at Sauli before leaving, shutting the front door behind him. 

     "My God." Sauli murmured. Adam turned to look at him. 

      "He's changed. He was never like this.  You weren't supposed to hear that." Adam muttered, looking away. 

      "Hey," Sauli said gently, taking Adam's hand. "Don't think for a second that I would change the way I see you. You're a beautiful person, Adam."

      "You don't understand." Adam said, pulling his hand away. "If Jace sees me with you and he finds out you're not a customer, he will kill you _and_ me. I am not supposed to be in _any_ relationship with another person. Man or woman. I can't let him come near you. I won't allow him to hurt you." 

      "He won't. I promise." Sauli said. Adam shook his head. 

     "God, what have I done? I never wanted you to be in this situation. And here we are, and I haven't even started working yet." He began sucking in large breaths, pacing even faster. "Sauli you have to leave." He said, his hands shaking.

      "What? Why? I--"

      "I don't want you to see me like this. Just please, go. I'll see you tomorrow. I promise."

      "Adam, I--" But Adam refused to listen. He started pacing the floor even faster,  roughly pulling on his raven hair and slightly hyperventilating. It was best to leave him alone before he went off the edge. Sauli slowly went to the door and opened it. He looked back once at Adam before shutting it softly behind him. 

 

     

    Nightfall came. Adam lay in bed, finally able to get rid of that awful jumpsuit. He took his first shower in weeks, and it was amazing. Michael had left some clothes that fit Adam, and now here he was, staring up at the ceiling. He should be happy, or at least relieved.

    He was finally free. His mother was gone. He was safe. But why did he feel so miserable and empty? _Sauli_. He had dragged Sauli into this mess without any intention of doing so. Sauli was the last person Adam wanted in this, but here he was. God, what has he done?

       Time passes and Adam still isn't asleep. But the tears come. They sting his eyes until they flow freely down his face, soaking into his pillow. Soon, he's panting softly from crying and his head is pounding with an on-coming headache. It's still dark out, so he has to feel his way around his house to the bathroom.

      He turns on the blinding lights and read the clock. 4am. He turns on the faucet, trying to block out his own screams that fill in my head. It doesn’t work. Adam turned on his shower to the cold side, and sticks his head under the water. Soon, his hair is soaked and he's chilled to the bone, but he ignores it.

      He shuts off the water and walks back to his room, ignoring that he can’t tell which are his tears and his dripping hair. Soon, he's exhausted from crying and finally drifts off to sleep. But of course, its interfered with nightmares. 

    _'He's been in this house before. Its a dream, of course, but that doesn't mean he's not terrified. This is his mother's house. He walks to his left, stopping when he catches his reflection in a mirror. Of course he looks different._

_That was expected. No longer that underfed, bruised little boy. Here, he stands, dressed in all black, his hair standing tall rather than being splayed around his face, covering his eyes. Speaking of eyes, his eyelids are rimmed with a black liner, giving his electric blue eyes an even more intimidating appearance._

_Before he can think of an escape plan, someone whispers his name. "Adam." He recognizes the voice and every instinct in is body is screaming at him to run, but he's frozen to the ground, paralyzed as the person comes into view. "Adam," Leila whispers again. "Have you done what I asked?"_

_Adam knew exactly what she meant, and by the looks of her face, she's expecting a yes. She reaches her hand out and Adam flinches, thinking she's going to strike him. Instead, she cups his face with her hand, the only soft gesture she's offered him since he was born. "Oh, my son. My beautiful son." Adam shook his head, pushing her hand away._

_"I'm not your beautiful son. And I never will be the man you want me to be. I am who I am, and you can't force me to change it." Leila's face twists into fury and she steps back from Adam. He towers over her, hot anger boiling inside him._

_"Fine." She says calmly. "Then I'll have to show you." She snaps her fingers and grabs his hand, pulling him down a hallway. He can't fight her although he sure as hell tries, but he has no control of his limbs. Did she do this? Leila drags Adam to an all too-familiar closet and flings open the door. Adam stifled a scream. Inside, lay a small child that doesn't look any older than 8._

_"Get up!" Leila barks, causing Adam to flinch. The child doesn't move and Leila kicks him in the ribcage. Adam gasped sharply, suddenly feeling pain in his ribcage. What the hell was happening? "Get up!" She barked again. Finally, the child makes an effort to get up, leaning on the wall. He stares at Leila until his eyes drift to Adam, whose eyes were open in shock. The child was him, about twenty years ago._

_No._

_"Adam, this is my sorry excuse for a son, Adam." Dear God this is a nightmare. "Stand up you worthless shit." She yells, flinging her hand across the child's face. He crashes down to the floor, going limp. Leila looks back at Adam, who grit his teeth in pain at a sharp pain in his face. "See? See how stupid it is?"_

_It? Did she just seriously call her son an it?_

_"Watch this." She says with a grin. She reaches down and roughly grabs her son's hair, earning a cry from both Adam and the child. She pulls the child up on his feet and Adam hissed, his hand flying to his hair. Then he understood. Everything Leila did to the child, affected Adam as if he were the one being struck._

_The child lets out a violent cough, one that Adam can literally feel his chest heaving. The child is pushed against the wall, feeling his skull crack against it. His mother fists his dark hair, roughy snapping his head back, forcing him to look at her. "Follow me." She says to Adam, pulling the younger Adam by his hair, downstairs. Adam follows silently._

_His mother drags the child to the kitchen and turns on the stove and pulls Adam over by his hair. He doesn't fight. He just listens to her call him horrible names. When the stove is an orangish red, she grabs little Adam's left hand and demands him to unclench his fist._

_"Don't!" Adam says from behind her, but the child doesn't listen. When he unclenches hid fist, she presses his hand against the hot stove. Adam stand paralyzed to the ground, while hot searing pain tears through his skin. He lets out a scream, but the child is silently watching._

_Leila holds Adam's hand there for 20 seconds, then lets go. He stares at his hand, now red and blistering. Meanwhile, Adam is screaming and tears run down his face. Leila grabs a fistful of Adam's hair and jerks him down towards his younger self. "Look what you did to him! Look at him! He's in pain because of you and your disease!"_

_The child stares up at Adam with a tired expression. Adam has had enough. Gritting his teeth in pain, Adam shoves his elbow into his mother's side. She releases his hair and gasped sharply, and Adam grabbed his younger self's hand. "Follow me." Adam said, making a break for the door. His mother is there in a second, blocking the door, holding her side._

_Adam skitted to a stop, pulling the child into another room and shutting the door, locking it. Leila barrels her weight against it, wrattling the doorframe but it holds its ground. Damn it! Think Adam! You know this house like no other, and you're going to sit here thinking of a hiding place? Think goddamn it! They couldn't stay in this room forever. Adam turned to the cowering little boy._

_"Can you think of anywhere to hide?" He asked. The boy blinked at him before taking his hand and pointing to the window. The window! Of course! "Can you press your weight against this door so she can't get in?" Adam asked. He knew the boy didn't weigh much, but would help. The child nodded and replaced Adam at the door, pushing as hard as he could._

_With his fist, Adam breaks the window, feeling the shards of glass stab into his hand. He motions for the child to follow him and Adam climbs out the window. “Come on," he says to the child. The boy shakes his head. Adam frowns and kneels down so he's at eye level with him. "What's the matter?"_

_"I want to give her another chance." Adam's doppelganger says softly. "I want her to know that I still love her."_

_"She isn't going to change, Adam. You can't go back. You can only go forward."_

_"She still loves me. I know it. I just don't do anything that she wants right. I always mess things up. But I'm staying here." The child crossed his arms, something that Adam knows all too well._

_"You call this love?" Adam asked, turning the child's hand over, palm up, revealing the swollen second degree burn on his hand. "Mothers don't do that to people they love."_

_"I don't care. I'm staying here."_

_The child turned away from Adam, walking to the door, and opening it. Adam watched as Leila struck the child in the side of the face, watching him collapse onto the ground, unconscious. He felt a sting on the side of his face as well. Tears welled up in his eyes as he watched Leila drag the unconscious child out of the room.'_

      And just like that, he's awake. He lay on his back, paralyzed with fear. A sob ripped its way up his throat as his agony took over. He reached his hand over, expecting to feel Sauli's warmth, but all he felt was sheets. For some reason, that just made him cry harder, knowing that Sauli couldn't get to him and comfort him. Adam turned over onto his stomach, tears soaking his pillow.

   


	18. Eighteen

        "Where the hell have you been?" Sauli's mother barked as Sauli entered the house. It was only early evening. After Adam freaked out, Sauli just wandered around his neighborhood for a few hours until he went back home. But that was yesterday. 

      "Um....out." Sauli said, hanging up his jacket.

        "Who with?  That whore fag?" She asked coldly.

        "He is not a whore, and he's certainly not a fag." Sauli said calmly.

       "Let me break it down for you. He sells himself to any person with a pair of eyes. And it seems like he is more attracted to men than women. I've seen the news Sauli, I'm not an idiot. If I would've known it was that whore, I wouldn't have let you gone to the trial."

         Sauli has never heard his mother speak like this about someone. His mother saw beauty in everything and everyone. But this isn't beauty. This is hate. "Mom, he didn't choose that life."

        "Bullshit." She said bluntly. "That _thing_ chose to do what he does. And I don't want you ever hanging out with that slut. _Ever_. He'll turn you into a fag too."

         "Will you stop with the labels?!" Now Sauli was frustrated. "He's not a thing, or a whore, he's a _human_ being! You honestly think he chose this life? Half the people in this state didn't choose the life that they have, but they have it! That doesn't mean it puts a label on the person, just by what he does. You don't know anything that he went through! _Nothing_!" Sauli's mother covered her mouth with her hand.

       "Oh God. He's already got you under his spell! He's turning you into a fag. You're traumatized by the prison. Come quick, son! We must pray for you!" She shouted.

      "W-what? No!" Sauli tried to wrench his arm away, but his mother tightened her grip, nails digging into his flesh.

      "I am not going to raise a fag. You are not going to be one of those buttfuckers! No! I won't allow it!" She pulled him into her room, shutting the door. "Read it. Read this Bible right now and pray for forgiveness!" She blocked the door so he couldn't get out.

      "I am not reading this book, mom. Since when are you a die-hard Christian?"

      "Since the day you went to jail. I prayed for you." She said, her eyes watering. "I prayed you would be free. And look. God answered my prayers, so why can't you believe me? Isn't that proof enough? Now you sit here and pray, and afterwards, we'll see if you can date that Kaitlyn girl."

    What. The. Literal. Fuck.

       "That's it!" Sauli yelled, tossing the book onto the bed. "I'm tired of this! I'm _gay_ , mom! Alright?! You know what that means? I'm a buttfucker, I'm a cocksucker, and I like men! Not just any man; I'm in love with Adam! And Kaitlyn is a lesbian, too! So just stop with the name calling!"

       "Since when did you decide to love this 'man'?" She asked with disgust.

        "I didn't _decide_ to love him. Love isn't a decision, its a _feeling_. And if you can't accept that, then I'm sorry that I'm not perfect." His mother ran a hand through her hair. She approched Sauli, cupping his face in her hands.

        "My sweet, son." She whispered, the pads of her thumbs gently tracing circles under his eyes. "My beautiful, handsome child. Do me a favor. Tonight, I want you to get some sleep. And in the morning, everything will be better. This will all just be a faded memory. We'll just move on, looking for a nice girl for you.  Okay?" She kissed the top of his head, opened the door, and walked out, leaving Sauli speechless. 

       

     ---

 

       "No offense, but your mom is a bitch." Kaitlyn stated as they walked down the street. "Its one thing not to accept that you're gay, but to pretend you never told her? That's twisted. And the fact that she keeps looking for girls for you to date. How did she react when you told her you fell in love with a prostitute?"

       "She just pretended nothing happened. She thinks I'm her straight son."

       "Speaking of Adam, have you seen him today?"

       "No. My mom watches me like a hawk. It reminds me of the prison." He shivered.

       "Well, I'm not telling you what to do, but _here's what you need to do_ ; Adam has been in that prison for 4 years now, right?" Sauli nodded. "Imagine it like this; Adam has been in captivity most of his life. Even at home. He is seeing all of this for the first time. He doesn't know what he is, or what he's capable of."

        "You do realize that you are painting Adam to be this psychotic monster, right? He's not a killer."

        "Yes, we already established this. But he has been abused his entire life. He was always hurting, always angry, and always confused. How do you think he delt with that stress and anger? It certainly wasn't him hugging it out. His only defense is to protect himself. Have you noticed how distant he still is from you? He thinks you're going to turn on him and beat him like his mother."

       "That's ridiculous!" Sauli defended. "Adam knows me. He knows I'm not capable of harming him. It's the last thing I want to do."

      "Then you need to show him. Prove to him that you're different than the rest." She stops and points up, and Sauli recognized it was Adam's house. "Because in his mind, he thinks you're just like everyone else."

      "Why did you bring me here?"

      "Because I followed the yellow brick road. Why do you think I brought you here? So you could check on him, you idiot."

      "He doesn't want me here."

     "Right. And I'm _straight_. Seriously Sauli? He didn't save your ass at the prison so he could kill you himself. God! Forget what Adam thinks; whether he wants it or not, you're going to be there for him. Now go." She pushed him through the gate, and walked him up to the door.

       "I'll be right here." She said, crouching behind a tree in the yard. Sauli stared at the door in front of him, unsure. Kaitlyn threw a rock at his head to get him to move,  but that didn't work. So she found a bigger rock, about the size of a softball, and chucked it at his head. Now that made him move. He glared at her and she smiled sweetly, motioning him to go on. Sauli had just raised his hand to knock when the door flung open, startling him.

       A large, black man with big, glassy eyes glared at Sauli. Sauli felt intimidated at the man's hight and size. "What do you want?" He grumbled. Sauli swallowed hard.

        "Um..I'm looking for Adam Lambert."

        "He's not here. He's at work. Who are you?"

        "Uh, I'm just a friend. Work?"

         "Yeah. He's the best prostitute in this country. He's down in west Hollywood."

         Sauli nodded. If he would've opened his mouth, he probably would've vomited. "Listen kid. I don't know who you are and I don't care. But nobody is allowed to be friends with Adam Lambert. I'm going to let you off easy, but next time, my boss Jace will have to know. Jace is Adam's boss, and he'll rip your throat out without hesitation. Be careful". The man shut the door firmly and Sauli turned around and started sprinting down the street.

          "HEY!" Kaitlyn yelled, taking off after him. He ran faster, but Kaitlyn ambushed him at the corner, tackling him to the ground, pinning him on his back.

         "No!" Sauli yelled, trying to roll onto his stomach.

         "Just STOP!" Kaitlyn barked, causing Sauli to freeze. Kaitlyn sat on his stomach, letting go of his wrists, now that he wasn't fighting her. She pushed back her hair from her eyes. "Now, what happened?"

         "He's in west hollywood. Working."

        "Okay, and so why did you start running?"

       "I don't know! I just didn't want to hear any more. It's hard."

        "And you don't think its hard for him? To drag himself up on that stage and sell himself to creeps that abuse him? God! I'm so mad at you!" She reeled her hand back as if she were going to slap him. He flinched as her hand came down, but it stopped in the air at last minute. Instead, she cups his face in her hands. "He needs you. Whether he admits it or not, Adam Lambert needs Sauli Koskinen." Then she got off of him and offered her hand, pulling him to his feet.

     

       --

     

     "Damn." Kaitlyn said under her breath. There were escorts everywhere. All male except for a few females. Some were busy straddling men, while others took the hand of their customers and led them somewhere in the back.

     "Help me find Adam." Sauli said over the loud music, pushing a handful of dollars into the bouncer's hand. Kaitlyn took his hand and weaved him through the sweaty bodies of men. Some looked at Sauli and smiled seductively. Sauli looked away and focused on finding Adam.

     They didn't have to look far. Adam was in the back of the room. He had his arms and legs tied with shackles on the ceiling and the walls, his body forming an X. He was wearing a sparkly black tank top and zebra print pants that hugged him like a second layer of skin.

     His head was thrown back as men approched him, feeling him, biting him, and just about everything else. One man pushed his way through the crowd and bit Ada's inner thigh. His head was still thrown back but he jerked his arm in his restraint. It made Sauli's stomach twist. "What do we do?" Sauli whispered to Kaitlyn. She shook her head.

     "I don't know. But don't worry. I won't leave your side."

        "Maybe we can--" Sauli looked over at Kaitlyn, who was staring at a blond girl with a pixie cut, sitting on one of the tables. "Kaitlyn?"

         "I'll see you later, Sauli." She said, her eyes trained on the girl as she stated walking over to her. Sauli rolled his eyes. So much for sticking together. Guess he was going to have to do this himself. Sauli made his way through the drunk men, until he was right in front of Adam. Something was wrong. He suddenly wasn't reacting to anything that was happening.

      His body had gone limp in the shackles. Soon, the men would find out about Adam's unconsciousness, and there would be even more trouble. "Adam, wake up." Saul murmured, flicking his knee.

        "Hey!" One man yelled. "Adam isn't moving!" Multiple heads turned in Sauli's direction and the music stopped playing. A tall, weathly looking, light skinned man that looked to be in his early thirties approched the group. He was wearing a white suit, his blond hair slicked back.

     "Excuse me, gentleman." He said with a smile, showing off white, straight teeth.

        He casually took out a whip that uncurled like a snake in his hand. He slowly walked around Adam before stopping at his back. Sauli's eyes widened at last minute when he realized what was happening. Before he had the chance to do anything, the man brought the whip down across Adam's back. In an instant, Adam was awake, his back snapping into an arch at the pain.

      Sauli winced as the man did it again, but Adam didn't move. He just sat there, blinking as the the man did it two more times before stepping back. Blood dripped down from the whip, and it seemed like every drunk man that was in the place was suddenly sober as they tooka step back, silent.

  “Sorry men. That won't happen again. Have at him." The man says, walking away. The men tore at Adam. His back was bleeding and cut open in various places and some men took the opportunity to suck on the fresh wounds.  How sick.  Adam looked down and saw Sauli's face. Surprise flashed in his eyes for a split second before they resumed back into a tired expression as he looked away.

      "I want a private act!" One man shouted, his mouth covered in Adam's blood. If he would've blinked, Sauli would've missed the slight flash of panic run across Adam's eyes as the large, meaty man appeared in front of Adam. He had to do something. Now. "Here, I found the keys. Step aside so I can un-cuff him!" The man pushed his way through, un-cuffing Adam's legs and arms. Adam was able to land on his feet, although he staggered. "Come on." The man said, beginning to pull Adam.

       "Hold on! I would like a private act!" Sauli called out without thinking, holding up a wad of cash. The man whipped around.

        "No way, I called him first." The man growled. Adam pulled his hand away and made his way over to Sauli.

         "Sorry sir. He's willing to pay more." The man literally hung his head as he walked away. Adam didn't look at Sauli; he just pulled him along, occasionally slapping some hands away from him as they reached out to touch Adam. He dragged Sauli to the back room door marked 'Adam' and opened it. He shut it after Sauli came in, and leaned against the door, sighing heavily.

        "Thanks." He said after a moment, still leaning against the door. "For getting me out of there." Sauli couldn't process what he said. He was more focused on the deep, jagged slash marks that marked Adam's back. His shirt was torn and blood was seeping through the fabric. How is he not screaming in pain?

         "Doesn't that hurt you?" He asked softly. Adam shook his head.

          "I've already had 7 people in the last two hours. The shackles are nothing. Adam said, shaking his head.

          "I meant the whip marks. And the people...sucking your blood."

        Adam turned away from the door and walked past Sauli, and Sauli almost gagged at the smell of blood. "No." He said finally. Sauli had forgotten whatever he had asked. "No, it doesn't hurt. It's normal."

          "Oh." He said lamely.

       "Why are you here?" Adam asked tiredly as he pulled off his shirt to inspect the wounds. His eyes were outlined in a black liner, making him look like an dangerous cougar as he sat down in a chair. How could someone look so beautiful and dangerous sitting in a shabby chair? The contrast was almost startling. 

       "Here, let me do it." Sauli avoided the question, coming over to where Adam sat.

    He could tell Adam was fighting his instincts to do everything on his own.

       "There's a first aid kit in the bathroom." He said softly. Sauli disappeared for a moment, and returned with the kit, opening it. His mother was a nurse, and she taught Sauli how to stitch wounds when he was younger, so closing the wounds weren't a problem. "Thank you." Adam said when Sauli finished. He nodded and Adam tugged his hand. "Why are you here?" He asked again, knowing Sauli couldn't avoid it this time.

          "Why are _you_ here? You just got released from jail the other day and you're already working?"

       "Sauli, I'm a _prostitute_. There is no such thing as a vacation, or a day off. We work every night."

       "Don't you see how wrong this is? Adam, you don't deserve this."

       "Stop telling me that!" Adam yelled, covering his ears with his hands. He whipped around, his bloodshot eyes brimmed with tears. "You fill me with lies. Telling me I'm worth everything, forcing me to actually believe those lies. I'm a _whore_ , Sauli! That's always been my label. Since I was ten years old.

     "And so why should it be any different? Why should I stop selling myself? I _can't_ do it, Sauli! Don't you see that? I'm _torn!"_ He flipped his arms around, forearms visible. Sauli stifled a gasp. His arms were even worse. Those fading cuts--the ones that were supposed to be a signal that Adam was getting better--were gone. They were replaced with larger and even deeper cuts. They overlapped each other angrily, like railroad tracks. They looked recent, like, less than an hour ago.

      "You told me you stopped." Sauli said, his voice barely audible.

      "Well, I lied." Adam snapped. "Just like how you lied to me." He turned away from him, facing the wall. Sauli quietly turned around and walked to the door.

      "I didn't lie." Sauli whispered into the silence, his hand resting on the doorknob. "I meant what I said." Then, he opened and closed the door softly behind him.

    Adam wanted him to slam it. He wanted Sauli to yell, throw something; anything to let Adam know that he was angry. But what he did was even worse. He had left Adam standing in the middle of a room, leaving without a trace of anger.

       If anything, Sauli looked hurt. And he had shut the door so softly, so silently as a reminder that he wasn't mad. He was hurt. Adam had hurt him, and that was the worst kind of pain that no whip could ever live up to.


	19. Nineteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this is just to let everyone know- this fanfic is ALL mine. I write other fanfics and some scenes I just use for the fanfic chapters if I can't think of one to write. I am not plagiarizing anyone else's work, nor will I. I realize that some chapters might be similar to another chapter in another fanfic, but these are all my ideas, all my words, and etc. Thanks for the love, and comment what you want to happen next:)

     Adam didn't see Sauli for the next three days. Jace claimed that Adam had to " get back in his routine " from being absent for 4 years, so he made Adam work days and nights. Usually he only works at night, but people are demanding more. Adam couldn't take harsh treatment when he was younger. "But now you're older. Stronger. " Jace praised. "You can take rougher customers. Which is why you're going to start working nights and afternoons. You and Sutan."

     "The club doesn't open until 9 o'clock. Why in the hell would someone come to a club at one, looking for sex?"

     "In case you haven't noticed, you're our top performer. You wouldn't believe how far people would travel to just spend one night with you. People love you, Adam." Adam sighed. 

      "Speaking of Sutan, where is Sutan?" Jace asked.

     "He went home. One of the customers got a little too rough with him." Adam answered, massaging his eyes. 

      "Shit." Jace cursed. "Will he be back tonight?" 

      "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll find a way to get him back here."

       "Well, then go home. Its almost 2 AM. Be back here at 1 with Sutan, and we'll go from there. You'll only take one customer at a time, since Sutan will be with you." Adam's eyes flew open.  

       "Wait, why is Sutan going to be with me?" Then his body went stiff. "Wait. You're asking me...to perform a threesome with Sutan, and whatever customer comes in?" Jace nodded with a smile. 

        "Yes, sugerpants. Except, the only thing is-- I'm not asking."

 

   ---

 

      "What about her?" His mother asked, pointing to a young brunette sitting at a table, texting. Sauli glanced up from his phone for about the 20th time. He fought to roll his eyes. His mother had dragged him to a café, where she was picking out girls for Sauli to talk to and possibly get their number. She had ignored his protests for the past ten minutes. Now, Sauli was only making up excuses for why he didn't want to date the girls his mother picked out. "She's too short." Sauli answered, looking back down at his phone. "Oh, come on Sauli. You're not that tall yourself. She would be perfect for you." 

        "Mom--"

      "Listen my son. You are not gay. Its just a phase. You're just traumatized by the prison. Soon, you'll be back to normal." She said calmly. Sauli stood up. "Where are you going?" She asked. "There are still many girls you haven't seen yet."

       "I'm going to find Adam." Sauli said coldly, walking away.

 

 

    ---

  

        Tonight, the club was packed. There has never been this many people before. Great. Adam hooked his leg behind the pole, sliding down it slowly. Men threw dollars at him on the ground as the music thumped through the club. Trashy? Yes. Did Adam care? No.

     Someone touched his shoulder from behind and Adam turned his head, lips connecting with Sutan's. The men whistled and cheered as the kiss deepened. Sutan ground his hips into the pole and partly into Adam's side, both bodies moving to the music. Sutan pulled on Adam's raven hair, jerking his head back and attacking his throat with little nips and kisses.

     Adam was sure the men in the crowd would lose their voices from all that screaming. He'll give them something to scream about. Slowly, Adam's legs wrapped around Sutan's waist as Sutan pressed him against the pole. Sutan didn't notice.

     Adam suddenly pressed his heels into the back of Sutan's legs, causing Sutan's knees to buck, and both men went to the floor. Luckily, Adam knew what he was doing, and was able to protect his head from smacking the ground. Sutan straddled Adam's waist, staring at him. Adam looked up at him, smirking and biting his lip.

     The crowd was going insane at the scene that had just unfolded. Sutan attacked his neck again and Adam arched his back, his legs folding underneath him. A classic position. After a minute, Sutan climbed off of Adam, helping him up after him. Sutan smiled at Adam, smacking him on the ass before strutting away, off the stage. The club door opened and Adam resumed his position at the pole. He glanced up and saw the last person he wanted to see.

     Sauli.

    Although he was slightly relieved to see him, he made sure his face was expressionless as he jumped off the stage, moving through the crowd of grabby hands until he reached Sauli's table, where he was sitting with a book. Who the hell reads in a sex club?

    "Are you stalking me?" He asked, sitting down across from him. "What are you doing here?"

     "I didn't see a sign that forbids Sauli Koskinen from entering." Sauli responded, not looking up. 

     "Oh, and so you just woke up today and said- 'you know what? I'm going to go to a sex club and read.' Come on, Sauli. I'm not stupid."

     "Fine. You want to know why I came?" He said, finally looking up.

     "If you're just here to praise me again or some other bullshit, you can leave."

     "Who is this, Adam?" That same man that whipped him interrupted as he came up behind Adam. "I've never seen him here before." A flicker of fear flashed in Adam's eyes. 

      "Just another customer." Adam answered. The man smiled at Sauli. 

       "Welcome. I'm Jace-- the manager." Sauli nodded, shaking his hand. "Enjoy." Jace said, walking away. Sauli watched him go until he was out of sight. Then he glanced at Adam, who was biting his lip nervously as he also watched Jace go.

       "You need to leave." He said quietly.

        "No way. You're not doing this to me again." Sauli said, picking up his book again. Adam groaned in frustration as he stood up. He grabbed Sauli's wrist and dragged him once again through the bodies until he reached his room, locking them both inside. 

        "For once, can you please just listen to me?" Adam pleaded. "I just put your life and my life in danger." Sauli crossed his arms. 

        "What did you do?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

         "I know you. That's what I did. And now Jace knows you too. If he sees you here often, just sitting there, he's going to know something is up. Between you and me. I'm not allowed to be in any relationship with anyone."

       "He doesn't know our history."

      "But it doesn't take rocket science for him to figure it out, Sauli."

      "So let me ask you this; why are you so concerned about him finding out? You don't want me here." 

       "You know why."

        "I really don't." Sauli shrugged. "All you do is push me away. I don't understand; you're right. I don't know what you went through in that hellhole, I don't know if you're okay or if you're crying yourself to sleep."

        "Stop." Adam growled through his teeth. But Sauli wasn’t done yet. He needed to break Adam open. 

        "Why do you push me away? Why do you suffer as a slave in your own mind? Why can't you just stop and breathe for a moment?"

       "STOP!" Adam yelled, covering his ears.

       "Why?" Sauli demanded.

      "Because it hurts! Alright? It fucking hurts and I don't know how to stop it! I push you away because I'm afraid to love you. I love you so much and damn it I don't like it!

     "What are you going to do when we envelope into a real relationship and the sexual feelings start? I'm not going to blame you; its just something the human body wants or needs. But I can't, Sauli. I can't do it without the memories circulating in my head. I just can't." Sauli opened his mouth, then closed it. Adam collapsed onto the ground, crying. 

      Slowly, Sauli sat down next to him, pulling his head into his lap. Adam didn't fight him; he was either too busy crying or he just didn't have the strength to pull away. This reminded Sauli of how Adam cried in the prison. Such a broken soul. He shifted and felt Adam's hand tighten on his leg. A silent plead for him to stay.

     "Adam." Sauli said after he heard Adam calm down. "Adam, do you trust me?" Seconds passed.

      "Yes." He heard him say after a moment.

    "Then can I ask you something?"

        "Yes?"

     "Will you leave this place with me? For good?" The door flew open. Sauli and Adam were on their feet in half a second as Jace and two bouncers stood at the doorway.

     "Well well well sugerpants. What's this?" Jace sneered. "I do believe that is a customer who didn't pay. Yes? Well that's going to be a problem."

         "Leave him alone." Adam said, stepping in front of Sauli. His voice was much deeper, more threatening.

         "Aw, sugerpants fell in love. How cute. Well, we don't fall in love in a place like this. Besides. Who would love a whore like you?" Adam's jaw clenched. "Listen to me Adam. He doesn't love you, nor will he ever. You're branded. Labeled as a whore. How could someone--"

        "You're wrong." Sauli said. Adam and Jace both turned their heads in his direction. Jace smiled.

        "What?"

     "I do care about him. I love him more than words can describe. And you know what? I don't care what you think about him. You don't know what he went through. You can tell everyone what ever you want." He felt Adam wrap an arm around Sauli's waist as he stood next to him. 

      "What are you going to do?" Jace challenged. "You forget, you've been with me since you were ten years old. You don't know what's out there, Adam. They'll eat you alive. So just stay here."

      "You tricked me. You manipulated me. You took what innocence I had left. You killed me." Adam said, his voice dark. 

       "I saved you! When I picked you off these streets, I wanted to kill you! A bruised, beaten little boy who hasn't seen daylight in months. And I wondered what good he'd be. But then you showed me your talent."

       "Is this what you call saving?" Adam demanded, pulling off his shirt. Sauli stifled a gasp. Forget about his back. If anything,  his back was the only thing that could be considered semi-normal. His chest. Dear God his chest. It was so discolored. Scars zigzagged left and right. Whip marks, teeth marks, scratches and burns. Adam turned to Sauli. "Sauli, I lied to you. I did choose this life. I knew what I had gotten into. I'm sorry." Then he turned back to Jace. 

         "You branded me. You sold me. I have lived in hell all my life, and now your hell is just beginning. I quit."

      Anger and shock flashed in Jace's eyes. "Fine." He said, stepping away from the door. "Go on. But if I see you step foot into that house that you've lived in since I found you, I'll tear your throat out."

         "Fine by me." Adam grabbed Sauli's hand, pulling him out of the room. The club was still packed, and multiple people made the attempt to grab at Adam and Sauli. Someone grabbed a handful of Sauli's hair, jerking his head back.

     He hissed at the pain and Adam turned around. His teeth clamped down on the person's hand and they immediately let go,  a shriek filling the room. Adam looked at Sauli apologetically and they continued through the crowd. When they reached the door, Adam turned around one more time, glancing back where they had just came from. Then he blinked, as if coming out of a daze, and walked out.

      No one spoke. Neither knew where they were going, and they weren't about to discuss it. Sauli was still in shock about how Adam quit. Just three days ago he rejected Sauli completely.

     And here he was, walking away from the life he knew. Sauli glanced up. Adam was sitting in the grass at a park, not too far from where Sauli was headed. He didn't object when Sauli sat down next to him. If anything, he barely awknowledged his presence. "Adam? Can you tell me what you're thinking?"

    "Everything just looks so dead and cold to me." Adam said. "And I feel absent. Like I'm here, but I'm not. Everyone looks so miserable." Then he glanced over, looking at Sauli for the first time. "Sauli, when I went missing for a few days in that prison, I escaped with Tommy. We ran for hours. I didn't know where we were going, but I just wanted to have the feeling of freedom. But how could I when I was stuck in the jumpsuit? Tommy wanted to continue on.

    "He wanted to be free on his own release. He begged me to come with him and believe me, it took all my willpower to say no. It felt wrong. Because I knew that if I didn't go back, I would never be free. Sure, the prison walls were gone. But the walls in my mind stayed, trapping me. Tommy left without me, and I went back to the prison a few days later. I couldn't leave you. You didn't deserve that. So I went back. For you." Adam said.

    Sauli thought he was done, but then Adam continued  "Tommy got caught while I was walking back. I ran back to help him, which explains the bruises on my face. Four men jumped him, and I went back to help him." He shook his head. "I was too late. I should've ran faster. By the time I got there, Tommy was lying on the ground, unmoving. I took on all four men at the same time. I was so angry. My mind had shut down. And by the time they left, Tommy was gone. They killed him." He inhaled sharply, squeezing his eyes shut. 

   Comforting him could be the stupidest idea Sauli could come up with. It was easy to tell that he didn't want to be touched. So, Sauli's hands played with the grass as he looked down. "Stop that." He said when he noticed Adam was twisting his hands together.

    "I'm sorry. I do that when I'm upset." Adam said softly. Then he looked at Sauli, opening his mouth to say something. "Nevermind." He said, looking away. 

     "What is it?"

   "Nothing."

    "Adam, look at me." He finally looked up into Sauli's blue eyes.

    "What is it?" He asked gently. Adam sighed.

     "This is going to sound really stupid. But, when I was in the prison, Tommy used to hold my hand when I did that. Would you...hold my hand?" A small, sad smile pulled at Sauli's lips as he slowly laced his fingers in Adam's. He breathed out slowly. "Thank you." He whispered, his body relaxing.

 


	20. Twenty

         "You've got to be kidding me." Adam whispered. 

         "Relax! My mom isn't home." Sauli said, unlocking the door. 

          "How is she not home at midnight?" 

        "Because since I was arrested, she practically made God her boyfriend. She was never overly religious, and now she won't go a second without praying. So each night she goes with her friends and prays with candles lit everywhere. She tried to drag me in with her but I threw that "post-traumatic stress and how traumatized I am from prison" act so she'd leave me alone. It did the trick, but I know it won't last much longer." He finally got the door open and pushed inside, Adam trailing behind. 

      "I'm sorry about the walls." Sauli said, giving him an apologetic look as he flipped on the lights. There were photos everywhere. Most of them were of Jesus, but there were a few of Sauli.

    "Oh my God." Adam said, stopping at one photo. "Look at you!" Sauli glanced up. He was about 3 or 4 years old, and he's sitting down, eating a handful of grass.

    "Not my best moment." Sauli cringed.

    "Look at your hair! You looked so cute!" He watched as Adam went from photo to photo, smiling and looking actually... _happy_ for once. Like he was a new, carefree person without a single regret. It made Sauli fall for him just a little bit harder. 

      "My mom won't be home until late morning. And my dad is on a business trip in France." Sauli said. "So she shouldn't be home tonight, and he shouldn't be home until next month." 

      Adam nodded. "Where should I sleep?" He asked. Sauli blinked at him. 

      "Next to me." He said. Adam's eyes widened.

      "I can't." He said.

    "Adam, I'm not going to force you to do anything."

     "Its not about that. I just don't want to hurt you."

     "Babe, I know you're not going to hurt me."

     "How?" 

    "Because. What's the difference between me and everyone else that you've been with?"

    "You actually care about me."

    "Right. And what else?"

    "You love me, and I love you."

    "Right. Now if you don't want to sleep next to me, you don't have to. I have a spare bedroom next to my room. But if you do want to, just know that I do not want to push you. Okay?" Adam nodded. 

     "I believe you." He said. "But I can't. Not today." Sauli nodded.

     "I understand. I'll show you where the spare bedroom is and you can get situated" Adam nodded. "Okay."

 

    ***

       He's been here before. Just by the way he walks from each room to room professionally. But yet he has no idea where he's at. How strange. It's dark, so he has to feel blindly on the walls with his hands. His shoulder rams into something and Adam reeled back.

    A series of blinding lights slam on, and Adam is temporarily blind until his eyes adjust. When they clear, the thing that he rammed into was actually a person. A woman. Hold on....multiple women. And men. They were all frozen, some hanging in mid air, others cupping their hands together, screaming.

    Glow Sticks were on arms as bracelets, people were wearing T-shirts with.... _Adam's_ name on them. What the hell? Adam walked around the frozen people, staring. People had cameras and phones in their hands, taking pictures of some man on a stage in front of them. Adam looked up.

     He was in a theater, specifically designed for a world tour. Who was the man they were cheering for? Curious, Adam walked around two frozen security guards and climbed a few short steps until he was on the stage. He looked around at the frozen people on stage. There was a black male playing the keyboard.

     Another male was playing guitar with a bandana wrapped around his head. His nails were painted black. A young male with blond hair that was shaved on the side was playing a bass guitar. There was another male leaning against the guitar player, his hand in the blond's hair. Adam stepped closer. Wait a minute.

    That man was him! And the blond male was.... _Tommy_? What the hell was he doing here? _Alive_? This was a nightmare. Adam walked around the men until he was standing next to his doppelganger. Adam pushed back the sweaty hair of the male and his eyes widened.

    It _really_ was him. Except just a few years older. Black liner was smeared around his eyes, his mouth open as his black painted nails held a microphone. He was staring at Tommy, eyes holding something that Adam has never seen. Adam took a step back in awe.

    What the hell was his doppelganger wearing? A skintight black and blue jumpsuit with knee high black boots, and the capital letter A on the back of his shirt. Why was he on stage? Why was Tommy alive? There were so many unanswered questions. Adam got off the stage and went around the crowds of people until he was outside.

    He stepped back until he could read the words clearly. "The Glam Nation Tour." He read aloud. Was he apart of this tour? He went back inside, around the people until he was back on stage. He approached his doppelganger face to face. His doppelganger was still frozen, until his eyes slowly shifted over to Adam's.

     Then, everyone began moving. The lights flashed different colors and music blared from where Adam was standing. He ducked as his doppelganger dropped to his knees, starting to sing. Adam ducked again as male dancers appeared on the stage, diving and bending in alarming ways. Adam stepped back behind the keyboardist and watched as his doppelganger started singing.

    "There he goes, my baby walks so slow. Sexual! Tic-tac-toe, yeah I know we both know it isn't time. No, but would you be mine?" Adam's eyes widened as his doppelganger leaned down and pressed his lips against Tommy's. It wasn't something quick. If anything, it never seemed to end.

    Finally Adam pulled away and smirked. The crowd was going crazy. They seemed to love everyone on stage. Someone pulled on Adam's hair and he turned. Sauli was standing there, smiling. But he wasn't the same Sauli. He shaved the sides of his head until peach fuzz only remained, and he had gotten older.

     Stronger. His skin was beautifully tanned, bringing out his blue eyes. And he wasn't looking at Adam, no. He was looking behind Adam, looking at the other Adam. Not even glancing at him, Sauli walked straight through Adam like he was a mist, leaning against a doorframe, still watching Adam's doppelganger.

   He looked so... _proud_ , watching Adam singing and dancing on that stage. The song ended and Adam watched as people screamed his name and threw t-shirts and bras and underwear. Adam caught one shirt in his hand and smiled at the crowd, bowing. "Thank you guys so much." He said, blowing a kiss. Tommy threw his guitar pick into the crowd, wrapping an arm around Adam's neck as they went off the stage, the other guitar player, the keyboardist, the drummer, and the dancers followed.

    "Adam!"

    A voice surfaces him from his dream and into reality. In present, Adam is sitting up, breathing hard, and throat raw. Had he been screaming? "Adam? Are you okay?" Sauli asked, turning on a light as he came into the room. Sauli hadn't gone to bed yet, and it was close to four am.

   "Of course." Adam responded, trying to get himself under control.

     "You were screaming."  

      "I'm sorry. Did I wake you?"

      "No, but you were screaming my name. Are you sure you're okay?"

      "Yeah." Adam lied, hoping Sauli didn't see the tears in his eyes. Sauli nodded slowly.

    "Okay. Goodnight." He turned to leave.

    "Sauli wait!" Adam said just as Sauli was closing the door. He opened it again.

    "Yeah?"

    "Will...will you stay with me?" Adam asked, looking nervous.

     "Are you sure?" Sauli asked. "I don't want to push you..."

     "No. Its my choice. I just need...to know you're safe." Sauli nodded, knowing that whatever he dreamed about must've been the reason for this.

    "Okay." Adam shifted over and pulled back the duvet so Sauli could get in. Sauli noticed Adam started twisting his fingers together, so he reached over and slowly laced his fingers with his. "Is this okay?" He asked, facing Adam. He nodded. "Goodnight Adam." Sauli pressed a soft kiss against Adam's forehead.

     "Goodnight Sauli." It was the soft, steady sound of Sauli's heartbeat that lulled Adam to sleep.


	21. Twenty One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is horrible, I might abandon this work:/ I'm not proud of it. What do you guys think?

     Something loud and obnoxious was going off in the morning. It sounded like a female scream. What kind of alarm was that? It happened again and Sauli opened his eyes a little. Adam was still next to him, lying on his stomach, asleep. Ok, so he didn't scream. There was something hard on Sauli's leg. He sat up and picked it up. What the hell is a doorknob doing on his bed?

    Then he glanced up. His mother was standing there, with an axe in her hand, eyes wide with terror. Sauli froze. The crazy bitch broke his door down like Johnny from The Shining.

    "Sauli!" She hissed. "Get over here! Now! Quick! Before he wakes up." Sauli looked down at Adam.

    "Adam, wake up." He murmured, shaking his shoulder.

     "Sauli stop!" His mother said, wildly flinging her hands.  

     "Adam, wake up. " He said, shaking him a little harder. When he didn't move, Sauli let out a short yelp, and _that_ finally woke him up. Adam lifted his head from his pillow, blinking sleepily at Sauli, his hair sticking everywhere. If they were in better circumstances, Sauli would've commented on how cute Adam looked at the moment, but now was not the time.

      "Are you okay?" Adam asked, completely oblivious to what was about to happen. Sauli bit his lip, his eyes shifting over to his mother. Sensing his fear, Adam turned around and his eyes widened at Sauli's mother standing there with an axe. Adam shifted his leg slowly.

   "Get away from him!" Sauli's mother screamed, throwing the axe towards the boys.

     Adam and Sauli were up in a nanosecond, running into opposite walls to avoid the weapon. It struck the middle of the headboard, inches away from the exact spot where Adam's head had been.

     "You!" She jabbed a finger at Adam. "You turned my son into a fag! With your pathetic sob story!" Adam worked his jaw in anger, but he held his ground, standing right in front of Sauli's mother.

    "I did nothing. You cannot turn someone gay. It's the person's own choice." He said calmly. 

    "Don't you dare tell me my son is gay! He is _not_ gay! Amd I will certainly not be told in my house by some disgusting ass fucker--" 

      "STOP IT!" Sauli screamed. Adam and Sauli's mother whipped around. They had forgotten Sauli was standing there. "Just stop! Jesus Christ! Stop with the labels! Stop with the homophobic comments! I love him, alright?"

       
      "No!" She screamed right back. "I won't believe it!" Sauli took Adam's hand in his, knowing that she wouldn't listen to him. Sauli's mother's eyes widened.

    "No! Get away from him!"

     "No, mother. This is who I am. I didn't want to tell you like this, but you left me no choice." Sauli said, standing taller. His mother looked like she was about to explode. _Literally_.

    "Get out of my house! And if you two ever think about coming back, I'll kill you myself. Maybe I'll ask Leila why she had so much trouble while beating you, Adam. You'll never be fully loved. Who could love a whore?"

     Adam tore his hand from Sauli's and took off, sprinting past Sauli's mother, until he was outside. He ran, not knowing where the hell he was going. He bit his lip, probably biting through it, tears pricking the back of his eyes. He ran until he found his special tree, digging his hands into the dirt.

     He found his box that he had buried such a long time ago, and opened it. His blade was still there. He held it in his hand for a minute before digging it into his forearm, slashing rapidly. The blood starts to spill over his arm and the numbing affect kicks in. That same old familiar sting. 

    What has he become? Adam curled on his side, one bloodied arm lying in the soft earth, the other clutching his blade. He wanted to cry, but it seemed all of his tears have left during his years. He wanted a lot of things, but more than anything, he wanted to die.

     He was just lifting the blade again to finish the job when he heard Sauli scream-- "No!" Suddenly, there was a heavy weight on top of Adam, and the blade was ripped from his hand.

     "Give it back!" Adam howled, tackling Sauli to the ground just as he was getting up to run away.

     "No!" In one quick motion, Sauli chucked the blade into the nearby lake. Both boys froze, watching as the blade broke the surface of the water, watching it disappear forever. Bloody hell.

   Adam let out a pained scream although nothing provoked it, and he scrambled to the edge of the lake, watching as the water rippled back into it's original surface. Sauli watched, still frozen, as Adam whimpered and jumped into the lake. Sauli's eyes widened and he was on his feet, jumping in right after Adam.

    Now Sauli was never a fan of water, but now was not the time to have fears. Adam had just jumped into a lake that could surely drown both of them over a blade, and that was fearful enough. Sauli found Adam clawing his way to the bottom of the lake.

      When he reached him, Sauli grabbed Adam's shirt, yanking him towards him. Adam thrashed, but Sauli was still able to pull both men up to the surface. Sauli's head shot out of the water, gasping for oxygen.

     Adam was still trying to get away from him, thrashing in the water as he tried to go back down underneath. "Adam!" Sauli yelled. "Look at me!"

     "No!"

    "Goddamn it Adam, look at me!" Sauli grabbed his face in his hands, pulling on his wet hair. Adam hissed at the pain, his blue eyes unfocused and angry as he glared at Sauli. "It's just a blade. You don't need that anymore. Okay? I'm here."

    Adam stared at Sauli for a minute before closing his eyes, slumping in the water. Sauli pulled them both to shore and weakly crawled up into the grass. Adam was on his knees, rocking back and forth as he started crying. He never used to cry at anything.

     When did he become so soft and weak? He made a noise--something that crossed the line of saying Sauli's name, and a whimper. Sauli pulled himself over to Adam, wrapping his arms around his neck, pressing his cheek against his wet hair. Adam was panting hard, almost hyperventilating as he began to cry harder. "I know baby." Sauli whispered. "I know."

      "I just wanted to hurt myself to see if I could still feel. I got tired of trying to dodge the words. Sauli, I just got you kicked out of your own house forever. Because of me, we're homeless. Because of me, I almost killed the both of us. Because of me--"

      "Because of you, I found out who I really wanted to be. Because of you, I was given a different outlook on life. Because of you, I fell in love with a beautiful person, inside and out. Fuck my mother and what she says. I was tired of her ass anyway. That doesn't matter anymore. I want to spend my life with you, and not have to worry if we're going to get caught."

     "But what are we going to do?" Adam asked. "We have no money and no idea where to start." Sauli reached into his jacket pocket that he left on the shore.

     "You don't think I'd leave without taking a few gifts, do you?" He asked, holding up three credit cards. "They're my mother's, but obviously she doesn't care what happens to us. We can use these until we get settled, then we'll go from there."

     "Are you sure this is going to help?" Adam asked.

    Sauli nodded. "I'm sure. For right now, I know just who to call when we need help."

**

 

      "Jesus Christ, Sauli. Get in here!" Kaitlyn said, pulling him into the room. "You two look like you jumped into a pool."

     "You're not too far off." Sauli muttered. "I really appreciate it Kaitlyn."

      "No problem. My parents are gone for the week, so you should be good."

      "I said the same thing, except my mother came home a little early." Sauli glanced at Adam. Kaitlyn pretended not to notice.

     "So let me ask you this. She came home to find you two sleeping, and she freaked out?"

      "Yeah, pretty much. Adam and I have been on our own since."

     "I'm going to raid my brother's drawer to see if I can find some dry clothes for you two." She said as she went around the corner. She returned a few minutes later with two towels and two pairs of sweat pants and two tank-tops. "I couldn't find any actual shirts." She said apologetically. "All I found was tank-tops."

      "That's alright, Kaitlyn. Thank you."

      "There are two bathrooms down the hall. You two can change in those. I'll make some tea." She watched as Adam and Sauli disappeared into the bathrooms before moving to the kitchen.

  **

      “When was the last time you've seen your brother?” Kaitlyn asked as she crossed her legs.

    "The trial." Adam answered.

    "Have you seen him before then?"

    "No."

     "Ok, so it's been at least four or five years. Since Leila is in jail, that leaves Neil with a few relatives. Adam, are you willing to take Neil?"

   He prepares himself to come up with a good excuse but Kaitlyn stops him.

     “Adam, you and I both know he needs you. Just because he's with relatives doesn’t mean he’s protected. And I know you two would like to work on your relationship together." Adam didn't miss the slight smirk on Kaitlyn's face. Apparently Sauli didn't miss it either because his face was scarlet. "But he needs you. Just like you two need each other."

      "But I don't know what to do. He barely knows me." 

       "Wouldn't you want him to know more about you? And vice versa?"

       "Yeah..." He admitted. "But I don't want to put a child in the same room as a former prostitute." 

      "Now you're just making up excuses. Just like Sauli, Neil sees past your history. You did what you had to do. End of story. Now, don't freak out when I say this, but--"

    Sauli flinched when he suddenly heard a loud thud and his arm reacted on impulse, grabbing Adam's hand.

    "Calm down, its just the delivery man." Kaitlyn said with another smirk. Sauli blushed even more fiercely. "Adam? Would you get the box for me?" When Adam vanished from earshot, Kaitlyn continued. "Now as I was saying, its up to you two. While you two are working on that relationship, playing hide the eggplant--"

     "KAITLYN!" Sauli hissed.

      "I'm just saying. I know I have a girlfriend, but you two don't look very small and--"

   Sauli almost loses his grasp on the counter.

     "Kaitlyn, _enough_." He hissed just as Adam reappeared with a small box.

    "Thank you." She said, immediately pressing down on the box. She took a knife and cut it open, pulling out some Styrofoam before revealing a smaller, slightly dented box. "The bastard dented it." She growled. 

     "What is it?" Sauli asked. 

     "A watch. I needed it so now I can tell you two that its time to get your shit together. No, I'm just kidding. But I did really need a watch." They stayed with Kaitlyn for three days until her parents came home.

      Kaitlyn was able to get them out of the house before her parents noticed. She sent them with two bags. One filled with their clothes and another filled with food. "Call me later so I know you're safe." She said, kissing Sauli on the cheek.

    They had been walking for about an hour, and although neither of them would say it out loud, they were tired. At one point, they stopped to rest on a bench and Sauli ended up falling asleep and Adam had to carry him. They were so exhausted. Neither of them spoke. The little conversations that did go on from time to time was just grunts and head nods. 

     Around six in the afternoon, Sauli stopped walking. They were in West Hollywood, in a dog park. Very few people were out. "I can't do it." He whispered, more to himself. "I can't go on."

    "Sauli."

   "Adam, I can't walk anymore."

   "Sauli," Adam repeated with a slight hint of irritation.

   "What?"

   "Look at that man." Sauli turned his head.

   "So? What about him?" 

   "Is he filming us?"

    Sauli squinted. Sure enough, a middle aged man in a black trench coat standing at the corner of the street had a video camera, training it on the boys. "Maybe it's something behind us?" He tried, although it was unlikely. "Just ignore him. Maybe he's doing a documentary on runaway teens." It was a joke, but no one laughed.

     "Sauli, he's not alone. I just found two others with video cameras." Adam said, his eyes darting from man to man. Sauli glanced over again. He was right. Two men, identical to the first male also had cameras, watching Sauli and Adam. 

    "Maybe--"

    "Run Sauli." Adam said lowly. "Run and don't look back."

   "What?"

   "Ssh! Don't let them know we see them. Just walk with me very calmly until we reach the end of the street. We'll split ways and meet up again." His voice had an edge of panic.

   "Adam--"

    "Go. Now. Start walking." He ignored Sauli's protests and grabbed his wrist firmly. "Act normal." He ushered Sauli along, occasionally letting digging his nails into Sauli’s flesh, but he soon eased up. "When we get to this corner, walk away from me. We'll pretend we're going separate ways, but we'll meet up." He was talking very low, in a hushed whisper.

     It made a cold sweat break out on Sauli. "Right here." Adam said once they reached the corner. He surprised Sauli by pulling him into an embrace, squeezing him. "Remember what I said." He whispered in Sauli's ear. Then he let go, giving Sauli a forced smile. "See you soon." He said as he started walking away. Something in his eyes held fear, and it snapped Sauli to his senses, and with one last glance towards Adam, he started walking the other way. 

  


	22. Twenty Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good Lord! You guys are so sweet. (And demanding) :) I've decided I will keep writing. And perhaps even a sequel

    Adam didn't tell Sauli where they'd meet up again. But Sauli knew the men were still following them. He already saw two men duck behind trees as they followed Sauli down the sidewalk, cameras in hand. It was hard to pretend everything was fine, because Sauli wanted nothing more than to break into a sprint until the men vanished. But it didn't work like that. And it wouldn't. 

   Sauli turned down a street, trying to memorize every street he passed. It was starting to ease into evening, and the later it got, the more panicked he became. Where was Adam? That was it. Although every instinct in his body screamed at him not to, Sauli broke into a sprint, taking off down the street as fast as he could. The men also broke into a sprint, fighting hard to keep up with Sauli. He darted down an alley, jumping behind a dumpster.

     There was the sound of pounding feet before it stopped. "Where'd he go?" One deep voice asked.

    "I don't know! Check everywhere." Sauli held his breath. The men were getting closer, and if he didn't move now, he'd be caught. Sauli moved to a crouching position, and slowly peeked around the corner of the dumpster. His stomach dropped. There were four men. But the last time Sauli saw them, there were only three, and two were following Sauli. Whatever, it didn't matter now.

    "Did you find the taller one?" One man barked into a walkie-talkie.

    "No," someone responded. "He found out we were after him and he was able to get away. We lost him when he jumped over these railroad tracks right before the train demolished him."

     "Find him you dipshits!" The man barked. "Jace needs both of them. And _alive_. We'll find the blond."

     "Michael, we will."

     "Good. Because if you don't, I'll cut through your neck until I feel bone. Now move!" _Jace?_  Oh shit. 

     "Check behind the dumpster." Someone ordered. One...two...three! Sauli bolted out from the dumpster like a frightened cat, taking off out of the alley.

    "After him!" A man screamed. Sauli panted hard, pushing his exhausted body to the limit. He was almost at the corner of the street when someone reached out and grabbed him, jerking him towards them. The person pulled Sauli close to them, pressing their hand against his mouth, silencing his scream.

   Sauli was going to scream and kick like he was being murdered, but when he saw who it was, he almost collapsed in relief. Pounding feet was heard and Sauli watched as the men ran past them, splitting up on different streets. Adam removed his hand after the men had disappeared. 

      "Let's go." Adam whispered. 

 

      ** 

 

     They found Adam's mother's house. It looked vacant and empty even though it was only evening. "From what I remember, she used to keep a key in the flower box." He said, bringing down the box. "Here it is." He pushed the key into the hole, twisting it. The door opened easily and Adam stepped inside. Sauli trailed behind him. The house was dark and cold. 

      Adam felt blindly for a light. He bumped into something and let out a sting of curse words before finding the light and turning it on. Light flooded into the room and Adam looked around. "My God." He murmured. "She hasn't changed it at all."

    Sauli's gaze flickered over to the hallway at the tightly shut door with four locks bolted onto it. The edges of the door were gnarled, like someone or something was biting it. His eyes widened and he looked away but it was too late. Adam followed his gaze and inhaled sharply at the door. "Adam--"

     "Shh." He walked slowly down the hallway until he reached the door.

     "Adam, don't." Sauli tried again but Adam ignored him. Sauli followed him, biting his lip. Adam traced his fingers over the locks. He was on his knees in under a minute and Sauli thought he was going to collapse, but Adam was on his feet again, holding four keys. He glanced back at Sauli. "She always kept them under the floorboard." He said softly. Sauli didn't say anything. What could he say?

    'Oh, that's cool how you remember the spot where your mother hid the keys where you were locked up?' Hell no.

     Adam turned the keys in the locks easily like he was opening a door to his house. The door granted him access, slowly opening with a spine-chilling creak until it was fully open. The room was dark and Adam reached over on the wall and flipped on the light. It was like being in a horror movie. Doing everything possibly wrong before you get killed.

    Sauli opened his mouth to speak but Adam beat him to it. "Come here, Sauli." He said, his voice slightly strained. Sauli complied, knowing that now wasn't the time to refuse. He shuffled towards Adam's outstretched hand and intertwined his fingers with his, stepping into the room. The room was barely big enough to turn around in.

   A single lightbulb shone above them, and the room was musty. Adam pointed to the wall with his other hand and reluctantly, Sauli looked up. Scratches and teeth marks. Blood stains and vomit stains marked the walls and floor like splattered paint on a canvas. "Sometimes when I was angry, I used to take it out on the walls." He shrugged.

    Sauli looked up at him and noticed how intense his gaze was as he stared at the walls. "Come on." He said softly, gently pulling his hand. Robotically, Adam let Sauli lead him out of the closet. "I'm sorry. I shouldn’t have let you seen that." Sauli shook his head. That was nothing compared to the pictures that he saw. "I'm so tired, Sauli."

    Sauli glanced at the clock. "Do you want to go to bed?"

     Adam nodded. "My mother's room is down here. But I wouldn't sleep there if I were dying on the kitchen floor. And don't even ask me about my father's room. Neil's room is upstairs." Adam walked straight past the closet without looking and headed upstairs.

   "How long will it be before we have to run again?" Sauli asked, watching Adam sit down on the bed. He shrugged.

   "I don't know." He whispered, massaging his eyes. 

   "Do you want to sleep?"

   "No." Sauli stood up but Adam grabbed his hand. "Sit with me." He pleaded. Sauli sat back down. "I have to tell you something." Adam said, nervously fumbling with his hands. Sauli reached over and slipped his hand in between Adam's. "I can't take Neil." Adam whispered. "I can't. How could I take care of a child when I can't even take care of myself?

    "You and I have no where to go because we're always on the run. Those men that were chasing us? That was because of me. We're being tracked down by Jace. He wants me, and you. I can't believe I let this happen." As if on cue, something dropped from one of Neil's shelf. Sauli stood up and retrieved it.

    "Its a journal." He said, brushing the dust from the front. "Its yours."

    "Let me see." Adam said. Sauli passed the book and sat back down. Adam opened the worn book's pages. "These are my songs." He said after a moment.

     "What?"

     "I used to write songs when I was younger. Before my sentence."  He shook his head. "How did Neil get this?" He turned the page and Sauli looked down at the book. "This one's called Underneath." Adam said. "This was the last song I wrote."

     "Did you have a tune?" Sauli asked.

    "Yeah. It wasn't anything special."

    "Can you sing it?" Adam shook his head.

    "I haven't sung in years. I don't even remember the melody." 

    "Can I read it?" Adam nodded. 

     "Its personal, so beware."

     "Tell me when to stop." 

     "Read it out loud." He said quietly. Sauli swallowed hard.

      "A red river of screams. Underneath. Tears in my eyes. Stars in my black and blue sky. And underneath, under my skin. Underneath, the depts of my sins. Look at me. Now do you see?" The rest of the page had been ripped out, cutting off the rest of the words. Sauli glanced up and his pained expression reflected back in Adam's eyes. He could literally feel Adam's pain in the page. "Adam, I don't know what to say." 

       And he didn't. What could he say? Although he didn't sing it, Sauli could clearly tell this was painful to read. "Do me a favor." Sauli said carefully. "Promise me that you'll finish this song?" Adam looked at him quizzically before nodding.

      "I will."

   

     ***

        Later on, Sauli was sprawled out on Neil's bed. Adam's song kept replaying in his head over and over again. Adam had went to take a shower. They couldn't stay here. Soon, the landlord would come and put a note on the door, explaining that since no one lived here, they would either take down the house or sell it. And that would force Sauli and Adam to run again. Will they ever be able to stay in one place?

       Adam emerged into the room with wet hair. He had changed into a black tank top and grey sweatpants. Sauli moved over and Adam crawled into the bed, turning onto his back. "What is love?" He asked after a moment as they stared up at the ceiling.

     "Love?" 

    "I keep getting this feeling, and I don't know what it is, nor how to deal with it. I only get it around you."

     "What does it feel like?"

      "I don't know...my face feels hot, my heart rate quickens, and I feel very flustered around you. Like I can't control my tongue or find the right words. It feels like millions of butterflies are in my stomach." Sauli listened carefully. Adam sat up to look him in the eye. "And...I've been thinking for a while about this. But...I want you." Sauli blinked at him. " _All_ of you." Adam looked away, nervously biting his lip again.

    It took a minute for Sauli to understand what he meant. And Adam obviously took his silence as hesitation, because he looked back at Sauli. "We don't have to if you don't want to. It was just a thought." The thing was, Sauli was more surprised than hesitant.

    Was he hesitant? Hell yeah, because he was still a virgin and didn't have a damn clue what to do. But he was more surprised how Adam wanted this out of the blue. Just three weeks ago he couldn't stand being touched, and now here he was, offering himself to the man he loves? 

   "Are you sure?" Sauli asked. "I don't want you to feel rushed or anything."

   "No, no. I want this. I just keep hearing that love is a beautiful thing. Can it really?"

     Sauli nodded. "Yes it can. With the right person" 

    "Okay." He felt Adam shift slightly and Sauli turned his head. Adam pulled him close until their foreheads touched. Sauli searched his eyes for any rejection or uncertainty, but all he saw was a soft tenderness.

    "You'll have to tell me if I do something that triggers something." He whispers.

    "You won't hurt me?"

    "I would never. Do you trust me?" Adam nodded, closing his eyes.

    "Yes." He whispered back.  

     Very slowly, Sauli pressed his lips to Adam's. He waited for a minute for Adam to respond, and when he did, their mouths started moving in rythm. Sauli shivered when Adam dragged his tongue across Sauli’s bottom lip, asking for entry.

    Without hesitation, Sauli granted him access. The kiss went from sweet to something a little heavier and feverish. Sauli’s hands tangled in Adam's thick raven hair, and Adam felt the need to touch Sauli's hot skin. This was different than all the other kisses that Adam has had. Sauli doesn't force his way into his mouth, and he's very gentle, like he actually cares about Adam.

     Adam pushed against Sauli slowly, guiding him onto his back. He crawled up until he was lying between Sauli's legs, tangling his hands in his hair once more. His mouth moved over to his jawline, tracing it with his tongue until he was right on the patch of skin under his ear. Adam suddenly pulled away, his lips slightly red. "Don't put me in charge. I don't want to hurt you."

    "Adam, you won't hurt me. Just like I won't hurt you. I trust you."

    "But I don't trust myself."

     "Its okay." Sauli said. "Its okay." Adam looked down at him with doubt. He knew Sauli would never hurt him. But could he say the same about Adam? It didn't matter. Today would have to be different. No matter how much anger Adam was filled with, he would never hurt Sauli.

    He looked down at Sauli again one last time before leaning back down to kiss him again. Sauli's hands tangled behind Adam's neck, pulling him impossibly closer. Sauli gasped when Adam lightly bit down on his ear, instinctively bucking his hips.

   Adam gasped as well when he felt Sauli's semi-hard on brush against his own. Sauli blindly reached down and found the hem of Adam's shirt, tugging it upwards. Adam lifted his upper body so Sauli had easier access to pulling it off. So many scars zigzagged Adam's chest. It was so painful to see a beautiful person have such a traumatizing past.

     Well now was Sauli's chance to show Adam how much he loved him. Sauli pulled his own shirt off, chucking it into the corner. He pressed himself back against Adam, moving from his lips to his ear and to his throat. He sucked on the skin with little nips and kisses, feeling his pulse beat against his tongue. Adam let out a low whimper of pleasure.

   "Sa-ah." He growled against Sauli's throat. Adam slid down farther, and crawled back up. His hard-on was grinding against Sauli's, creating friction through denim and sweatpants. Sauli bit his lip before cursing quietly in Finnish. Adam paused, his lips against Sauli's ear. "Say it again. Whatever you just said, say it again." Sauli tilted his head down until his lips were pressed against Adam's cartilage.

   "Voi perkele." He whispered again, harsh and needy in his native tongue. Adam shivered.

    "Say it again."

   "Voi perkele."

    "Fuck..." Adam hissed when Sauli rolled his 'R'. He attacked Sauli's lips again, nipping on the bottom one. Their tongues fought for control and dominace, and Adam obviously won. He blindly reached down, tugging on the waistband of Sauli's jeans, not quite pulling them down, but attempting. "Pants. Off." He hissed against his ear when he couldn't get them off. "Fucking cock-blocker." Sauli didn't know whether to laugh or moan at his tone. He snaked one hand around Adam's waist, the other undoing his pants. He kicked them off and his hand joined his other. 

      Sauli slipped his thumbs under the waistband of Adam's pants, slowly tugging them down. Although he couldn't see it, Sauli could literally feel that giant rock that was Adam's dick. How in the hell was that thing going to fit anywhere? "Are you ready?" Adam asked, pulling away. Sauli nodded, his body visibly stiffening. Adam sat up. "I dont have a condom or lube." He tried again.

     "It's okay. Its not like you're not clean, and just use your saliva or something."

       "Babe, you're going to have to relax." He said, noting Sauli's posture. He nodded, forcing himself to relax in the sheets. "Are you sure?" Adam asked one last time. Sauli nodded. "Okay." Very slowly, Adam slid Sauli's underwear off. Sauli felt the blood rush to his face. It was kind of awkward for Adam to be gawking at his dick like that. Sauli had never been fully naked around someone, or even shirtless. Well that went out the window. 

     Adam lifted Sauli's leg and placed it on his shoulder, his calf dangling. Very slowly, Adam nudged a finger in. The stretch wasn't bad, and he noticed how quick Sauli got used to the weird feeling. The second one was worse. It took a few minutes for Sauli to get past the pain. Adam was going as slow as he possibly could, but it still hurt. 

     "Another one?" He asked, glancing up at Sauli. He nodded, unable to form words. Jesus Christ, his fingers already hurt. He couldn't imagine his dick. Adam nudged something in Sauli, causing Sauli to arch off the sheets. He saw stars. What the hell was that? 

    Repeatedly, Adam purposely kept tickling that spot, and instead of trying to stifle his moans, Sauli let one out. It was deep and loud and caused Sauli and Adam to freeze. "Fuck Sauli..." Adam hissed. 

     "Do it. _Now_."

   "I can't. I haven't done enough yet--" 

   "Don't care. Need you. Inside. _Now_." Sauli said through gritted teeth.

    "Damn you." Forcing himself to take even breaths, Adam wrapped his hand around Sauli's cock, finger by finger. Adam knew what most people liked, but this would be different with Sauli. Testing, Adam loosely pumped once, knowing Sauli wouldn't get any real friction. Sauli groaned in annoyance and tried to thrust up into his hand, whimpering. 

      Adam positioned himself, lining up with Sauli. He slowly started nudging inside slowly and it was like a tree trunk was being shoved up Sauli's ass. The pain was almost unbelievable. Adam just kept sliding in farther and farther and Sauli thought he would eventually snap in half. Suddenly, Adam stopped. He was fully in. That was it. Sauli was no longer a virgin. And he wouldn't have wanted anyone else to take it. 

     "Need a minute?" Adam asked. Sauli nodded, and pulled Adam down on him. Adam buried his head in the crook of Sauli's neck and Sauli weaved a hand through his raven hair. A few minutes passed in complete silence. 

     "I'm ready." Sauli said, breaking the silence. Adam pulled away. He pressed his forehead to Sauli's, rocking into him. He nudged that place again and Sauli fisted the steets in pleasure. 

     He tightened around Adam and Adam let out a loud moan. Never in his time as a prostitute had he ever let out a real moan. He had learned to fake them. But this was the first real moan Adam has ever made. 

     "You feel so-" He cut off with another moan. "Amazing." His steady rythm was becoming irregular. He was getting close. Sauli was babbling and cursing in Finnish, a sign that he was getting close as well. Adam's hand reached down and gripped Sauli's cock, pumping along as they moved.

    That was it. Sauli let out a pleasurable scream and he came all over Adam's hand. Watching that was enough for Adam as well, and he rode out of the orgasm. Adam became limp and collapsed on top of Sauli, his cock still buried in Sauli. Both panted from exhaustion. "Sauli? Sauli are you alright?" Adam asked.

      Sauli couldn't form words so he just nodded repeatedly. "I love you Sauli."

       "I love you too Adam." 

     

     

    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the sudden cut off in the chapter. I accidentally updated without fully completing it. I finished it though so you should be good;)


	23. Twenty Three

     In the morning, Sauli awoke to himself draped across Adam. Adam was still asleep, and Sauli needed to get up. He slowly shifted and immediately, Adam's arms tightened around him. Sauli tried again and Adam pulled him impossibly closer, squeezing the life out of him. "Adam." Sauli said, pinching his side. Adam jerked and immediately woke up.

   "Sorry." He mumbled, letting go of Sauli.

    "Its fine. Doesn't compare to the pain in my ass."

    Adam smirked. "I warned you." Sauli sat up with a smile.

     "I know. But did it prove that I was different?" Adam nodded, stretching his arms above his head.

     "A lot different."

    Sauli winced. Damn his ass hurts! "How do you feel?"

     "I'm good. Are you okay?" Adam opened one eye. 

     "Yeah I think so." Sauli leaned down and found his jeans. He pulled them on and stood up, realizing his underwear was missing. "Have you seen my underwear?" He asked, looking around. Adam opened his other eye, glancing up at the ceiling. He pointed to the fan, where Sauli's boxers lay atop one of the blades.

    Sauli looked up and groaned. "How in the hell did it get up there?" Adam quickly covered his mouth with his hand, hiding a smile. Sauli glared at him. "It's not funny!"

     "I'm not laughing." Adam said although they both knew he was.

    Adam reached over and pulled his own pants on, standing up. "I'm too short." Sauli said. 

    "I don't even know if I can get it." Adam said, standing up on the bed. He reached up and grabbed Sauli's underwear, tossing them to him.

    "Thanks." Sauli muttered, his face red. Adam laughed and shook his head. He left the room for a minute. Sauli had just gotten his boxers on when he heard Adam scream and the sound of glass being shattered. 

      Sauli was by Adam's side in two paces, immediately looking for a pulse. He was unconscious, blood trickling down the side of his head. He was alive.  

    But Sauli should've checked his surroundings before he ran to Adam because someone suddenly was behind him, a knife pressed to his throat. "Get up." A voice growled in his ear. Sauli froze. "Get up or I'll cut through your neck until I see your spinalcord." Sauli slowly got up.

   "Wait." A strangely familiar voice said. She walked around until she was right in front of Sauli, her face hidden by a mask. 

   "Oh my God. Drop the knife!" She ordered. The man behind Sauli immediately complied, letting go of him. The girl yanked off her mask and Sauli almost screamed.

     "Kaitlyn! What the fuck are you doing?" 

    "Shh! There's no time to explain. You need to get out of here. They're coming for you."

    "Who?"

   "Shut up! Logan, take him to the van. I'll get Adam. I'll explain what's going on in a minute."

    "Hell no, I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what the hell is happening." Kaitlyn glared at him as she crouched down to look for Adam's pulse.

    "Sauli, I need you to trust me. That's all I'm asking. Just trust me and get into the van. Please." Something was so wrong. So so very wrong. But despite his insticts, Sauli followed Logan out the door and into the black, windowless van parked outside.

    Kaitlyn appeared a few minutes later, carrying a limp Adam. "I didn't mean to knock him out." She said, glancing at Sauli apologetically as she strung Adam across two seats. "He scared the shit out of me. He'll be alright. Might have one hell of a headache."

    Sauli pulled Adam's head into his lap, running a hand through his soft hair."Mind telling me what's going on?"

     "East, Logan." She told the boy as he slid into the drivers seat. She looked at Sauli. "Right. I guess I should tell you whats happening. My partner Logan and I are part of the CBBC organization, which is a group for hidden teenagers. We specilize in housing missing teenagers, and children who have ran away or are being hunted, and we give them a home until they're old enough to leave on their own. We've been apart of it since we were ten. 

    "You're being stalked. You and Adam. Adam's former boss Jace has sent out different men to capture you two and bring you to him. He wants you dead. Logan and I have been looking for you for three days. We're taking you undercover."

    "What?"

  "Sauli, please try to understand. This could get us all killed if we don't. You are going into hiding. It's just until Alii can get you to safety."

     "Who is Alii?"

    "Our leader." Kaitlyn explained. "She's the one who sent Logan and I to find you. She'll explain everything." Adam began to stir. He opened his eyes, focusing on Sauli. He frowned. 

     "You're okay." Sauli said, smoothing Adam's hair back.

     "What happened?"

    "You got hit in the head by Kaitlyn. She's taking us somewhere safe."

      "Why?" 

    "Adam?" Kaitlyn called. Adam turned his head. Then his eyes grew wide in alarm and he started shifting, trying to get up.

    "Sauli. Get up." Adam said.

    "Why?" Sauli fought to push Adam back down but he resisted.

    "Sauli, she's one of them." Adam was fully up by now.

    "Adam, honey you hit your head. Things might be a little confusing right now. But we're safe."

    He shook his head. "No. She's working with Jace."

   Kaitlyn's face had gone pale, which Sauli thought was impossible considering how dark her skintone was. 

    "Adam, " Sauli said calmly. "Everything's fine. Everything will be explained soon." Adam shook his head again, but he didn't say anything else. Instead, he started twirling his hands and when Sauli reached over to take one, Adam just shook his head and pulled away. 

     "Right here, Logan." Kaitlyn said as she moved to the passenger side of the van. "Sauli? Alii is going to explain what's happening, and she's going to explain what needs to happen. She has a room for you and Adam." He nodded although he knew Kaitlyn couldn't see him. The van stopped and Kaitlyn got out. 

     "Follow me." She said, opening the back doors. Sauli climbed out, offering his hand to Adam to help him down. Surprisingly, Adam accepted his offer. The place kind of looked like a summer camp. People dressed in regular clothes walked around, either giving orders or going to do them. Children walked around, playing or laughing with friends.  Kaitlyn led the boys to a white tent, going inside. "Alii." Kaitlyn said. A small woman with black hair tied in a ponytail turned around from behind a table.

     "Hello, Adam and Sauli." She said warmly, shaking their hands. "I've heard so many good things about you. Welcome to the CBBC. You'll be safe here. I'm sure you have millions of questions, but first, let me show you your room. Then you can ask me any questions you have." 

      She stepped out of the tent and started walking to a tall, brick building where a few teens walked in and out of. "This is designed like a college campus. We have classes from grade 4th to 12th with teachers. But we teach students more than just fractions and Shakespeare. We teach them what to do in situations that could mean life or death. You two are not required to go to class because you're 18, but you can still attend. There's a music group."

      "What kind of music group?" Adam asked. Sauli's eyebrows raised in surprise. When did Adam care about music? 

      "Oh, it's just a theater group. Kids can have roles and perform and that kind of stuff. Its a lot of fun. But our teacher just retired so we have no one to take the job. Expecially someone with musical talent."

     "I'll do it." Adam said suddenly. Alii's eyebrows rose, along with Sauli's.

       "You will?"

      "Sure. Why not?"

     "Fantastic!" Alii smiled. "I'll get you started this afternoon. Come now. Your rooms are this way." Sauli glanced at Adam. His face was stony, impenetrable. He didn't look at Sauli, although he knew he was looking at him. Sauli shivered as Adam breezed past him.

    This wasn't Adam. Not Sauli's Adam. This Adam is the same Adam that Sauli met at the prison. Dark and cold.  And for some reason, it made Sauli feel more fearful than he's ever been. 

    


	24. Twenty Four

       "This is designed for the children who have ran away or were kicked out of their homes." Alii tells them as they walked down a hallway.  "You'll be safe here. I promise. This place is looked over so many times, it's like it's invisible. Nobody knows you're here. We follow a schedule. Lunch is at 12, and kids are to be in their rooms by 9:30. Lights out at 11. I assume you'll want to room together, so I got you one of the larger rooms. Your room number is 1877. Here's the key."

    She handed Sauli a small, silver key. "If you have any questions, please let me know. See you two later." She waved and walked away. Sauli unlocked the door and went inside, Adam trailing behind. Although Sauli hated to compare it, but the room kind of reminded him of the prison room. There wasn't much space. Two beds on opposite walls, a large glass window, and a bathroom. 

     Sauli sat down on one of the beds and glanced at Adam. He was sitting cross legged on the other bed, his eyes staring hard at the window. "Adam." Sauli said, breaking the silence. Adam didn't move, his eyes still on the window. "Adam, talk to me."

    "There's nothing to talk about." He answered cooly. 

     "What's the matter?" Adam shook his head. 

     "Nothing."

   Sauli hated when he did this. He shut him out, just like at the prison when he wouldn't tell Sauli anything. He sighed and turned to lie down on his side, facing away from Adam. 

   When Adam was sure he was asleep, he stood up.  The window was big enough to open and sit on. He slowly unlatched the window, and sat on the ledge, his legs swinging. A few rain clouds moved in the grey sky, a sign that a big storm was coming. The sky was darkening quick.

   Adam has never been afraid of the dark. In fact, he spent most of his youth in the dark, either wandering around in the darkness or purposely creating darkness either in his room or his mind. It was a queer thing to him. How could something that was so terrifying to most, be the painful truth that lulled him to sleep at night?

   He glanced back to see if Sauli had stirred. When nothing had changed, Adam turned back to the sky and let out a slow breath. Then he started singing, soft and low. 

 "Strip away the flesh and bone. Look beyond the lies you've known. Everybody wants to talk about a freak. No one wants to dig that deep. Let me take you underneath.

  "Baby better watch your step. Nevermind what's on the left. You're going to see things you might not want to see. Still not that easy for me. Underneath." Then he stopped singing, pushed himself off of the ledge into the rain and shut the window, walking away. He didn't know Sauli had been listening the entire time. 

 

     **

 

    "You're from Finland?" Aubrey asked. Sauli nodded.

     "I am."

   "Why'd you move to a place like this?" Kaitlyn had given Sauli strict orders not to tell anyone why he was really was here. If anyone figured out that they were hiding, panic could rise. Then they'd all be dead. "Oh, I just didn't like my home. My mother was insane. Kicked me out of the house."

    "Oh." Aubrey seemed disappointed. "You got off easy. Both my parents were abusive. I ran away at 11 and wandered the streets until Alii found me. You'll like it here. You seem to fit in well. There's also a new kid here. I dunno his name, but he has black hair and blue eyes. He really fits in with the theater kids." 

     "Have you seen him recently?" Sauli looked down at the wet grass as they walked. 

     "Nah. He was wandering out in the rain earlier. He seemed really upset. I wonder what his story is."

      "You think he has a story?"

       "Everyone has a story." Aubrey said, looking up at Sauli. She slipped her 8-year-old hand in his, swinging their hands back and fourth as they walked. "You have a story. I have a story. That boy has a story, and so does everyone else. The only difference is that some stories are longer and sadder than others."

     It was after midnight. Sauli had been outside since 7pm, about half a mile away from the campus. He thought Adam was sleeping when the call came through. "Sauli?"

    "Yes, Adam?"

     "Where are you?" His voice was strained.

   "I'm half a mile away from the campus."

   "Oh my God."Adam's voice caught in his throat. Sauli stopped walking.

   "Adam?" He asked. "What are you doing?"

      There was shuffling, like paper being crumbled. "You scared the shit out of me.  I thought you were outside for a little but you didnt come back and I thought you--" It sounded like he was crying. "I need you to come back Sauli."

      "Adam what's wrong?" 

     "Please don't leave me." Adam pleaded.  

       "Adam what are you talking about; I'm not leaving you."

       "Then come back." He said, his voice suddenly clear. 

        "Okay. I'm on my way back. Where are you?"

        "I dont know." Adam breathed. "I went looking for you."

      "Stay where you are. Are you still on the campus?"

        "I think so."

       "OK, don't move. I'll come find you."

        "Sauli?" He stopped walking again.

        "Yes?" Adam paused for what seemed like years. 

         "I love you." 

         "I love you too Adam."

   

        **

 

        It took a while but eventually Sauli located Adam. He wasn't too far from where Sauli was. Adam ran to Sauli and hugged him tight like they hadn't seen each other in years. "I'm not leaving you." Sauli whispered into Adam's hair. "I'm right here."

        "You scared me." Adam mumbled into his shoulder. This was weird. Adam was crying, and holding Sauli to where it was hard to breathe. Did Adam really think he was going to leave him?

    "Adam, I'm sorry. I shouldn’t have left. I just didn't know what to do. I needed to think. But you've been acting so weird lately! You keep pushing me away. I told you I was there for you."

      "I know. I'm sorry."

       "What's going on?" He asked, pushing Adam away at arms length so he could look at him. Adam avoided eye contact, his eyes a liquid blue. Something dropped and landed in the grass and both boys looked down. It was silver. Sauli frowned, bending down to pick it up. A strong wave of metallic overpowered Sauli as he pickee up the object. Holding it out in the moonlight, Sauli discovered it was a bloody blade.

    "Adam." Sauli whispered horrified, barely audible. "What did you do?" He slowly turned his head to look at Adam, who was physically shaking and breathing very unstable. He wasn't looking at Sauli; his eyes were dilating and contracting to pinpoints rapidly. Sauli looked down at Adam's arms. The shirt he had been wearing had been ripped open from his sleeves on his forearms, leaving only tattered material up to his biceps.

   Blood soaked through the fabric, spilling over and into the grass. Deep, crucial, angry lines slashed Adam's arms, deeper than mountain crevices. He didn't just cut himself. Adam had stabbed himself. Repeatedly. The blood didn't seem to stop or slow down. "Adam." Sauli's breath caught in his throat. If the wounds weren't taken care of, Adam could die by the blood loss. Adam had gone pale, all blood drained from his face.

     His arms were out in front of him, violently shaking. Sauli was covered in his blood as well, unaware that Adam's arms that were wrapped around him earlier, smeared blood on him. Slowly, Sauli wrapped an arm around Adam's shoulders, guiding him to the campus. Adam didnt protest. If anything, he barely could keep his eyes open. He was in shock, his mouth open slightly.

    They reached the campus where Sauli was able to get Adam to sit down in the grass. He didn't respond to Sauli when he said he was going to get help. "Call 911." Sauli said breathlessly as Kaitlyn came into sight. Kaitlyn's eyes widened as she saw the blood. 

     "Adam." She said. "Call 911. Where is he?" 

      "By the tree." Sauli caught her phone as she tossed it to him and both ran outside to Adam, who was lying on his side.

   "Adam, look at me. Eyes on me." Kaitlyn demanded, forcing him to sit up. Adam's eyes were closed and his head fell, unable to be supported by his neck. "Adam." Kaitlyn growled. Adam finally half-opened his eyes. They were unfocused as they darted everywhere.

     "I have a man here that has attempted suicide. He's bleeding and has stabbed his arms repeatedly." Sauli babbled into the phone. He was about to cross the line of hysteria as he paced back and forth. "I don't know! He just needs an ambulance right now!"

     "Sauli they cant know we're here. They dont know where we are. We have to move Adam somewhere where people know where he's at." Kaitlyn said as she forced Adam's eyes open again. He was losing consciousness. He was going to die.

    Sauli was crying by now, slipping curses in Finnish and English as he practically yelled into the phone that they needed an ambulance. He hung up, tossing Kaitlyn's phone to the ground. "Stay with him, and while I'll get a car. We'll drive him to the hospital." Kaitlyn said in a rush as she jumped up.

   She sprinted down to the campus and Sauli dropped to his knees. "Adam open your eyes. Please." He lazily opened one eye, then the other. He looked at Sauli's sweaty, crying face and whispered.

     "I'm sorry Sauli. I love you."

    "Don't say that. You're not dying. We're going to get help and you're going to be fine." 

     "No I'm not." He whispered, lifting up his shirt. Sauli's eyes widened as even deeper wounds slashed against Adam's stomach. He had also stabbed himself in the stomach. He was bleeding perfusely. Adam's head rolled to the side and he slumped forward. His hair ruffled gently in the breeze.

    "Help!" Sauli screamed as he stared at the limp body in his arms.


	25. Twenty Five

       In the hospital, nurses laugh. They'll go home and take off their scrubs and forget about who had died the ealier morning. But not Sauli. He will stay by Adam's side until he wakes. The doctors say he won't, that he _can't_ , but they don't know him like Sauli does. Last night was proof that Adam couldn't go on. He had practically killed himself.

    If only Sauli hadn't left. He knew something was wrong. He knew it! And because he didn't say anything, Adam is now in a hospital bed, unconscious and in a coma. Kaitlyn was able to drive Adam into town just as the ambulance arrived at the corner. Although Adam was unconscious, he still had Sauli's hand tightly in his, so Sauli was able to ride in the ambulance with Adam until he was literally ripped from his grasp and wheeled into th OR.

    Sauli had to painfully wait in the waiting room with Kaitlyn for three hours until Alii showed up with Aubrey. Aubrey sat in Sauli's lap and wrapped her arms tightly around him. There were only a few more people in the waiting room. They stared at Sauli's blood stained face but he didn't seem to care. About two hours later, a nurse appeared in the room.

    "Adam Lambert's family?" She called. Sauli stood up with Aubrey still wrapped around him. The four walked to the nurse.

   "I'm his boyfriend." Sauli said, shaking her hand.

   "I have good news and bad news. Which would you like to hear first?" 

      "Good." Kaitlyn blurted out. The nurse nodded.

    "There's a chance he'll wake up. Its slight, but its there. He's responded well to the treatment although he's relasped twice into cardiac arrest. We were forced to put him in a medically induced coma or else he would've flatlined again. We haven't been able to get any physical reaction out of him, but you are allowed to see him. Thats the good news. Heres the bad news. Because he attempted to take his life, officials want to put him in a rehabilitation center for the mentally disturbed. That's if he wakes up."

      "They want to put him in a mental institute?"

      "Adam isn't safe here. If he stays out in this world, he is most likely going to attempt suicide again for another reason. He spent a lot of years in agony from his parents, and its affecting him. He doesn't know what he is, and he's figuring out where he belongs." 

      "I don't understand." Sauli said. 

     "What I'm saying is; if Adam wakes up, you need to be right there, by his side. He's broken, damaged. What he did to himself was proof that he couldn't go on. Not only did he cut himself;  Adam stabbed himself. Repeatedly. We're going to have to put him in the institution so he doesn't hurt himself again."

     "You can't do that."

    "Yes I can, Mr. Koskinen. It's not something I want to do, but if it'll save Adam's life, wouldn't you do it?" The last thing Sauli wants is to see Adam in a mental hospital. He's not insane. But Sauli also doesn't want to see Adam like he was last night. That was enough to almost break Sauli. 

     "Think about it, Sauli. You're not going to hurt him; you're saving him. Adam will need to understand that. You can see him now." She disappeared for a moment. Kaitlyn comes up behind Sauli and placed her hand on his shoulder, squeezing.

   "Hey, he's alive. That's all that matters. He'll wake up."

    Sauli nodded, unable to trust his voice. The nurse reappeared a minute later. "Follow me." Shoving his hands deep in his pockets, Sauli followed the nurse, Aubrey rushing behind with Alii and Kaitlyn. The lights were dim in the room when they walked in.

     "Don't look at him until you sit down, Sauli." Kaitlyn whispered. "You might not be able to hold yourself up if you do look now." He nodded and kept his head down, walking to the chair by the bedside. He lifted his head and stifled a gasp. 

    He looked horrible. Bandages wrapped around his chest and arms. His eyes were shut, and his face was strained with dark, red blood. On impulse,  Sauli's hand reached for Adam's limp hand. It was still warm, suprisingly. "Oh, Adam." Sauli whispered against Adam's hand. "Babe, why do you make me play this game? You know I can't do this without you."

    He stared at Adam, clinging to the unrealistic hope that he'll give him an answer. Surely he could find a way to save Sauli from this torture. "Sauli?" He jumped in alarm, unaware that Kaitlyn had been standing there the entire time. "Come on, lets go back to the campus."

      "And leave him like this?" Sauli said numbly, his eyes still on Adam. 

      "He knows you're here. He does. You need to sleep. Its almost 6 am."

       "I'm not leaving Adam. So you might as well go because I'm not moving."

       "Sauli--"

      "No, Kaitlyn." He said, venom slipping into his words. "I left him once and look what happened. I am going to stay here until he wakes up. He's not dead, he's just lost. And when he wakes up, I'll be here." He stared hard at Adam's face, not moving until he saw Kaitlyn leave out of the corner of his eye.

   When she was gone, he put his head down on the bed, right next to Adam's leg and began to cry. It wasn't one of those tears-falling-slowly cries. It was the worst kind of cry, where you grab a pillow and scream and your stomach hurts and your face feels hot and you think you're going to vomit.

    He has never cried that hard before. When he had stopped crying and had a splitting headache, Sauli began to fall asleep, and despite the circumstances, he felt Adam slightly squeeze Sauli's hand. 


	26. Twenty Six

     He didn't remember much, except for the fact that he was staring at a chair. That's weird. Sauli has never seen the hospital room from this angle. He shifted, slowly becoming aware of his surroundings. He's lying on his stomach, on the ground. He rolled over on his back, now staring up at the ceiling. 

      "Sauli?" Little Aubrey's voice brought him out of his thoughts. Sauli sat up and pulled himself to his feet, staggering a little. Aubrey was sitting next to Adam in his hospital bed, her hand wrapped tightly in his.

   "How long have you been here?" He asked.

   "Since Kaitlyn left. Alii is still here. But, I need to tell you something." She bit her lip nervously.

    "What is it?"

    "Its really bad."

    "Aubrey, its alright. Just tell me."

     "Kaitlyn was the one that stabbed Adam. Adam didn't do this." 

     A long time ago in Finland, Sauli remembered falling out of a tree and landing on his back, the air vanished from his lungs as he gasped for air. That's how he felt right now, staring at Aubrey as she stared back at him with a steady yet wild gaze. "W-what?" 

    "Kaitlyn stabbed Adam." She repeated with the same, steady voice. Sauli didn't want to believe her. He didn't. But when Aubrey reached behind her back and held out a knife wrapped in a jacket stained with blood--Kaitlyn's jacket-- Sauli's own blood went cold.

 

  * * 

    

    Adam woke up a week later. Sauli had been avoiding Kaitlyn the entire time. He knew she knew something was wrong, but he wasn't about to say anything. Sauli had been half asleep, his head leaning on his hand. Aubrey was sitting in his lap, also asleep,  when he heard shuffling. He looked up and jolted when he saw two eyes staring straight back at him.

     "Oh my God. " Sauli breathed, shaking Aubrey a little. She sat up and yawned, blinking. "Adam." He whispered. "Adam, can you hear me?" Adam's eyes followed Sauli as he stepped closer, kneeling by his bed. He blinked slowly. "Adam?" His eye twitched. "Aubrey, I'm going to go get the nurse." Sauli said, standing up. 

      "I warned you." Adam said, his voice loud and clear in the room. Sauli stopped, his hand frozen on the doorknob. "I told you that she was one of them. But you didn't listen. Pity." It didnt even sound like Adam. It sounded like his mother, to be honest. Sauli turned slowly around, but Adam had already shut his eyes again. Sauli motioned for Aubrey to follow him. 

     "Listen to me." Sauli said.

      "Why is Adam acting like that?" Aubrey asked.

   "I don't know. But I'm going to get the nurse. Promise me that whatever he says, you'll tell me." Aubrey frowned. But she promised him, and went back into the room. Sauli walked down the hall, biting his lip, searching for the nurse. 

   When he returned with a young woman, Aubrey was sitting cross-legged on Adam's bed. "Turn your hand over, like this." She instructed him, flipping his hand over, palms down. "What are you doing?" Sauli asked as he sat back down.

   "Reading his fortune." Aubrey said, not looking up from his hand. 

       "Follow the light honey." The nurse instructed, shining a small flashlight in Adam's eyes. He did what she said without question. "Squeeze my hand, and lets see how your senses are reacting." Once again, he did as she asked. "Very good. Vitals are good,  heartbeat seems regular. How do you feel?" Adam didn't answer her; he just stared straight ahead, his eyes blank. 

   "Adam? Do you know where you are?"

   Aubrey looked up at him. His eyes slowly went from person to person until they stopped at Sauli. He stared at him until Kaitlyn burst through the door, causing Adam to jump. "Oh my God, Adam." Kaitlyn said breathlessly as she began walking towards him. Adam froze, his breathing cut short. Kaitlyn stopped in her tracks as Sauli, Aubrey and Adam stared at her.

    They knew. And she knew they knew. Everyone watched as Adam's pupils slowly grew larger and larger until his blue irises were just a thin outline. His pupils had become his irises. His breathing increased, his heartrate began to quicken, and Adam was starting to move. "Adam, calm down." Sauli said as he jumped up. Adam's arms flexed and he fought to sit up. Sauli pressed his hand to Adam's shoulder, trying to push him back down.

     The nurse ran out of the room, calling for Adam's doctor. Breathing hard, Adam ripped the tubes from his arm and Kaitlyn backed up. "Go. Run." Sauli demanded, for he knew Adam was 13 times stronger than Sauli when he's not angry. When he's angry, Adam is uncontrollable.

   Frozen in place, Kaitlyn watched as Sauli struggled to get Adam to calm down. He lunged at Kaitlyn, and at last minute, Aubrey jumped in front of her. Adam immediately stopped, and Sauli took the opportunity to get Adam to look at him. He stepped in front of Aubrey and Adam's unfocused eyes darted on Sauli's face.

    "Look at me." He said. Although his eyes were still dilated, Sauli caught the flicker of emotion running through his eyes. Adam's eyes began to focus, and he allowed Sauli to lead him back to his bed. Adam sat cross-legged on his bed, his eyes focused on the sheets. Kaitlyn was still against the wall.

   "Sauli?" She asked, shakily. "What's going on?" He didn't answer. Aubrey came back over and resumed her position in Adam's bed. Another flicker of emotion crossed Adam's eyes and Sauli immediately recognized that face. Adam was going to cry. Sauli was sure of it. But all signs of him crying vanished when his doctor rushed in. His face immediately went back to before. Blank and masked. 

 

     ***

     Adam was released 4 days later. Unfortunately, Kaitlyn hasn't left Sauli alone since Adam's ambush attempt at her. He's been able to avoid her, but one day, she caught him off guard, while Sauli was outside. Adam hadn't been doing much but sleeping all day, and he wasn't very talkative.

   The only thing Sauli can do is give him space. He was outside when he spotted Kaitlyn. He scrambled uo and started running when she grabbed his shirt, yanking him backwards. "Stop running from me!" She growled, pulling at his hair. Sauli hissed from the pain as she pinned him to the ground. "What's going on? Why are you avoiding me?"

     Never would he admit why. He wouldn't do it. "Sauli Koskinen I swear to Christ if you don't tell me right now, I will--"

     "Try to murder Adam again?" He cut her off. Kaitlyn stopped, releasing his hair. 

      "What?"

      "You heard me." She paled. 

      "Sauli I--"

      "Shut up! Don't try to fool me." 

      "I was ordered to!" She yelled. "Alii ordered me to. You want to know why? Because you two are dangerous! We're afraid to get caught because of you and Adam. Alii told me to pick one to get rid of. I knew that I couldn't kill either of you, but I had to do something." Sauli's own hands flew to his hair, tugging hard. This was a nightmare! "I didnt cut him deep. Murder wasn't my motive." His mouth fell open. Here was his former best friend. A killer. He couldn't believe it. "I knew I wouldn't kill him. Sauli you have to believe me!"

     "No!" He screamed, causing her to flinch. "I don't have to. And I won't!" He pushed her off of him and he scrambled to get up. He pressed himself against the wall, trying to sink into it. Kaitlyn stood in front of him and he closed his eyes, refusing to look at her.

    "Sauli." She pleaded. Tears rolled down his face through his closed eyes. "Sauli, look at me." Her voice was a soft whisper. But he still wouldn't look at her. He cleared his throat and opened his eyes.

   "Adam and I will be gone by tonight." He said as he walked away, leaving her to stand there alone.

     They left at midnight. Sauli had no trouble convincing Adam to leave with him. Adam hasn't been himsef since the murder attempt, and he just nodded when Sauli explained the plan. Kaitlyn pleaded, begged, threatened, and just about everything else for Sauli to stay. He brushes her off. How could she think he would stay when she tried to murder Adam? Kaitlyn had always crossed Sauli's mind as intelligent until now. She let him take one of the un-used cars in the campus, so they didn't have to walk. "Sauli, I'm always here." She said Sauli started the engine.

    "Just like the scars on Adam's body that you made?" He said coldly. "Dont worry Kaitlyn; I'll always think of you every time I see the slashes on his body." He rolled the window up and began driving away from the campus, not glancing back once.


	27. Twenty Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sequel?

     They've been on the road for God knows how long. Both Sauli and Adam were having trouble staying awake. Once, Sauli fell asleep at the wheel and the blaring noise of a car horn woke him up and he just barely missed that car. Adam was awake currently, staring at the dashboard. The last time he spoke was at the hospital. He had a dazed look in his eyes.

   "Adam?" Sauli asked after a long silence. Adam raised his head in response. "Are you afraid of me?" He stared at Sauli for a minute before dropping his head back down, giving a slight shake. "Then what is it? Why haven't you been talking?" Adam shrugged. Sauli sighed and pulled over into the side of the road. "Babe, I can't help you if you don't let me in." He said, looking in Adam's eyes. Seconds past. Finally, Adam sighed.

    "Sauli, do you see me having a bright future, despite my past?" Sauli nodded.

   "Absolutely. I think you're capable of anything. And I know whatever you want to do, you can do it."

   Adam breathed out. "Thank you. I just needed to hear that." What is it you want to do?"

    "Sing." Adam said without missing a beat. "I want to just go out there and fearlessly just give everyone a show." Sauli nodded. Adam still didn't know Sauli heard him sing. And Sauli wouldn't tell him. It might make Adam more self-conscious about his voice, and he might not do it at all, if Sauli told him.

   "Adam, you can do anything." He said, reaching over to squeeze his hand. "I believe in you." Adam nodded again and the car fell silent. Eventually Sauli was so tired, they had to stop. He was able to find a hotel for the night. Then they would have to travel on in the morning. Sauli had to wake up Adam, and both boys struggled to climb the three stairs that led to the door.

    Tiredly, Sauli explained the situation, slipping between English and Finnish while Adam laid his head down on the front desk. The woman at the front desk gave Sauli a key to their room, and Sauli had to wake Adam up again. Their room was as big as a shoebox, but neither cared. They just had to sleep. There were two beds, and they collapsed on both. Sauli kicked off his shoes and threw off his jacket, crawling under the duvet.

   Adam hadn't moved an inch since he landed on the bed. "Adam, move up. You're about to fall off the bed." Sauli mumbled into his pillow. He heard shifting and he felt the bed sink a bit as Adam laid down next to Sauli. He wrapped his arms around Sauli and pulled him closer, both drifting off into sleep.

 

  *** 

   Sauli woke up around noon. He heard water running from the bathroom, and he assumed Adam was showering. He stood up, stretching. Adam appeared in the room a minute later, with wet hair and a towel wrapped around his waist. "Hey baby." He said. "You slept for a long time."

    "How long?" Sauli asked. Adam disappeared into the bathroom again. "Um...I'm not sure. We got here around 1 am, so it was a while." He said. He reappeared, dressed in the same clothes as yesterday, except he was shirtless. He walked to the window and spread back the curtains, looking outside. Sauli stood behind him, his fingers softly touching Adam's scars. He flinched under Sauli's touch, then relaxed. 

     Sauli sighed. This was all his fault. "I can hear you thinking, and it's not your fault." Adam said.

   "But it is! If I would've known...I wouldn't have--"

     "Stop. Don't beat yourself up for that." He turned around so he could face Sauli. "I'm here now, and that's all that matters." Sauli nodded, although he could tell Adam was still concerned. "We should go soon." Sauli said.

 

     ****

    Adam stood on the balcony of the hotel and scanned the dark world below. He really didn't know what he was looking for, anything really to distract himself from thinking. He's been trying to go back to normal, for Sauli, but how could he, when all he dreams about are images of himself, bleeding and dying on the ground?

    He's been trying to keep quiet, for Sauli's sake, but somehow he always knows when Adam has a nightmare. The sheer expanse of the blue-black sky sprinkled with glitter seemed a solid thing in the distance, and Adam put up his hand to touch it.

 He brought it back down, but instead of touching the balcony railing, he touched something warm. He glanced down and noticed it was Sauli's hand. "You should be sleeping."

     "So should you."

     "I can't." 

     "Then how can I, knowing that the love of my life is awake, probably fighting to control his emotions as another nightmare haunts him?" A breeze ruffled through Adam's hair as he sighed. Adam’s eyes once again went skyward with the universe. "I'll be inside." Sauli said, turning away, leaving Adam alone. He gripped the rail tighter.

    This never would've happened. If he would've just stayed in that damn prison, this wouldn't have happened. If it weren't for Adam, Sauli would be free, free to do anything. And Adam took it all away from him. They were in another hotel, and it wouldn't be long before Sauli would go to bed. Adam could think of a quick plan. 

      He turned around. Sauli was pulling on a white T-shirt, dressing for bed. Slowly, Adam let go of the railing and went inside.

 

    ****

       This was it. The plan had gone as according, almost perfect. Too perfect, as a matter of fact. Sauli had left to find the car, and it wouldn't be long before he returned. Adam moved fast, and in five minutes, the room was a disaster. The pillows were torn and white feathers filled the room.

    He had trashed the room, making it look like there had been a robber that came in. Earlier before Sauli had left to get the car, he had forced Sauli to kiss him, holding it longer than normal. And although Sauli had complied without hesitation, confusion flickered in his eyes for a minute.

   He heard a car door shut and he froze, running to the window. Sauli was coming back! He had to hurry! Taking a deep breath, Adam smashed the sliding glass door that lead to the balcony with the bedside lamp, and ducked as glass flew everywhere.

   Carefully avoiding the glass, Adam looked down. It was a short fall but if someone landed wrong, it could either paralyze them, or kill them. And Adam wasn't looking for either one of those option. Behind him, the door handle twisted and Adam panicked. He took a deep breath and jumped.

    Maybe he should've planned this out better. For a minute, he feels the sensation of airborne before he lands directly on his feet, a stabbing pain instantly shooting up both legs. He collapsed onto his knees in the grass, breathing deeply, in and out until the pain passes.

    A small smile appears onto his lips. He did it! He couldn't believe it. He actually did it! He stood up, wincing. The pain in his legs was a little stronger. He started limping to the mouth of the woods, stopping at the first tree. He looked back at the hotel. "I'm sorry Sauli." He whispered, before continuing through the woods.


	28. Twenty Eight

     At the police station, a female officer drapes a jacket over Sauli's shoulders as he tries to control his trembling. He blinks slowly at the ground as a pair of shoes come into sight. "Mr. Koskinen?" A soft, female voice said. He didn't look up. "There's a detective here to see you. She wants to ask you some questions."

    Only did he finally look up when a detective placed a hand on his shoulder. "Sauli? Come with me." She said. He stood up numbly, and followed the short woman into an office. "Have a seat." She said kindly. He sat down as she took her place behind her desk. "So, I understand that you might be feeling a little shaken up. But we're never going to find any answers if we don't talk."

   He didn't want to talk. Talking meant believing that whatever the subject is was true. Sauli didn't want to believe it. He shook his head, feeling his bottom lip tremble slightly. "Sauli, please. We won't find Adam if we don't know how he disappeared."

   The door opened and another officer walked in. "Anna," she said lowly. "I need to speak with you."

    "I'm in the middle of investigating." She said, motioning to Sauli.

   "It's about Mr. Lambert. The police found  more evidence." 

     "Excuse me Sauli." Anna mumbled, standing up quickly. She left the office, shutting the door softly but firmly. Sauli's hands trembled in his lap. He wanted to cry, but he already did. Three times and his eyes were bloodshot and rimmed with more tears. Anna returned a moment later. "Sauli, I need you to stay calm for me. Okay? I have to tell you something." He couldn't hear her well. He was lost in his own thoughts of Adam lying in a ditch somewhere, dead.

   "Sauli!" She raised her voice and only then did he look up. "Adam's case is not ruled as an abduction." Sauli nodded. "Its ruled as a runaway." _Impossible_ , he thought. W _hy would Adam run away? Honestly. And these people are supposed to be LA's top policemen?_ Sauli stood up.

   "Sauli wait!" Anna stepped swiftly in front of him before he reached the door. He attempted pushing through her but she placed her hands on his chest, pushing him back. "Stop! Stop." She said. He quit moving, although he stared hard at the door. He will not cry. He won't.

   But as Anna pulls him into an embrace before he crumbles to the ground, he has no choice but to let go of his emotions. He cried harder than anything he's ever cried for before. When he can stand on his own again, Anna motions him to sit down again. 

    "The police found Adam's fingerprints on a lamp that broke the glass door, and they measured his distance if he were to jump from the balcony. If he landed right, which he must have because there's footprints leading into the woods, he would've gone from there. He might've staged it to make it look like there was a robber." She said calmly. 

    "Why would he run away?" Sauli asked, his voice cracking. Anna shook her head. 

     "You know him better than anyone else, Sauli. Did he seem to be acting different before he left? Any signs of depression or suicidal thoughts?" 

      "Well, he was recently hospitalized for stab wounds."

     "Who stabbed him?" Anna leaned closer. Sauli shook his head.

     "It was an accident." He lied. "A close friend was fooling around and accidentally stabbed him. Anyway, since his hospital release, Adam hasn't been the same. He was distant, and quiet. Reminded me of the first time I met him."

     "What about your sex life? Any change there?"

     Sauli shook his head. "Adam and I have only known each other for a few months, and we've had sex once, and that was way before everything happened." Anna nodded. "We'll find him Sauli. I'm putting out a search time this afternoon. I'm assuming you'll want to join?" He nodded and stood up. 

 

    ***

 

          Running was the easy part. The hard part was figuring out what to do now. Adam leaned against a tree, panting. His legs were killing him. But he couldn't stop now. He was just reaching a town. A city perhaps. If he stopped now, he could get caught. Taking a deep breath, Adam traveled on.


	29. Twenty Nine

        Day two of the search and no luck. They kept searching day and night for 5 days until Detective Anna pulled Sauli aside on the sixth day. "Sauli? We've tried to find Adam, and we've looked everywhere. He's nowhere to be found, and...I don't think he _wants_ to be found."

       "So what you're saying, is we should stop searching?" Sauli's voice cracked.

   She nodded and bit her lip. "I think it's for the best."

     "So then what do I do?" Sauli asked.

   "I think its time to let Adam go. Obviously he needed to find himself again, and I think you need to find yourself as well. Let him go, and if he comes back, he's made to be yours. The eyes want what the heart feels, Sauli. So let him go, and find yourself." Sauli nodded. "Thank you Anna."

     "I'm so sorry." She said, patting his shoulder. He bit his lip until he tasted blood..

 

     ***

   

   He couldn't believe he was doing this. He had promised himself, promised Sauli that he would never come back here. But Sauli didn't need Adam anymore. Sauli would be better off without him. He'd be safe. Taking a deep breath and closing his eyes, Adam pushed open the door. A young man dressed in a white suit turned around from behind a bar counter. "Adam. Welcome back." Jace said with a smile. 

       

                 End of book one

 

      A/N: HOLY SHIT! Okay, first of all, I want to say a huge GODDAMN THANK YOU to everyone who read Silence. You guys pushed me to finish this book and I know the ending is a little abrupt. But! That's why I'm writing A DAMN SEQUEL! SO GET READY FOR MORE SAULI AND ADAM and other surprises>:) I am so excited for you guys. The first chapter of 'Mute' will be uploaded tomorrow, but I will put up a little teaser today on Silence, so please don't leave. I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH. Xoxo - MC

 


	30. Teaser of Mute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first chapter of the story Mute by MercyChild

     He pulled up next to the Greensville Hospital in Helsinki, Finland and slowly gets out of the car. He clenches his hands into fists, then unclenches them as he walks into the hospital doors. The smell of medicine and death consumes his nostrils. God, he hates hospitals.

     “May I help you, officer?” A young woman sitting at a desk asks in Finnish. 

    “Yes, I’m looking for Julia Koskinen’s room.” He answered nervously. 

   “Room 149.” She tells him. Sauli nods in thanks and slowly makes his way to her room. Karani is sitting in a chair by her bed, but Sauli doesn’t enter the room.

   “Karani,” he calls from the doorway. “Time to go.” Karani looks up at his older brother.

   “Is that Sauli?” A hoarse whisper escapes Julia’s throat.

    “Yes mother.” Karani answers.

    “Karani, lets go.” Sauli said lowly.

    “Sauli, she’s _dying_. Please.” He pleaded. Sauli raised his eyes to the ceiling and shook his head.

   “Come here, Sauli.” Julia says. He fights the urge to snort.

    “No.”

    "Sauli!” Karani says. “She’s dying. _Please._ Don't be like this. Not today.” Sauli glared at his brother. Karani got up and slowly pulled Sauli into the room, while Sauli resisted multiple times. Julia opens her eyes.

    “And there he is. My first born. The love of my life—”

   “Don’t.” He says through clenched teeth, his eyes closed. “Don’t you dare say that to my face. I haven’t forgotten what you’ve done.”

    “Neither have I.” Julia says. “It haunts me to the very core. I can still see the frightened little 18 year old boy in your face. Except your eyes…they have changed. What happened?”

    “I had surgery.”

   “Oh yes. I remember now. What color is your eye? I can’t see it from here.”

 “It’s still the same color.” He answered; his words clipped and short.

  “You look different.” Its true. His cheekbones had sharpened, his skin is tan, he’s muscular, and his blond hair had gotten lighter. He had gotten taller, although not by much, and now he was in the FBI, still living in LA with his brother—the replacement child of Sauli—when he had left home. "I haven't seen you in ten years." 

    "I wonder why." 

    His phone rang.

     “Sauli? You need to come back. We’ve got a case. A girl that’s been missing for six months has been found alive and alone in a house in West Hollywood. We need to go now before her captor comes back.” Sauli’s partner in the police force—Douglass—said. Sauli’s eyes widened.

    “I’m on my way.” He hung up.

    “Karani, we need to go. I have to get back; I have a case I need to handle right now.”

     “Sauli wait—”

    “No, we can’t. We need to go now before it’s too late.” He grabbed Karani’s and made it halfway around the bed when a familiar bony hand grabbed Sauli’s wrist. He immediately shut down, freezing in his place.

    Julia had his wrist in her hand.

    _Julia had his wrist in her hand_.

    He hissed like she electrocuted him and jerked his wrist away. “Sauli!” She called hoarsely. Sauli shook his head violently and ran out of the building and out to the car, letting go of Karani’s hand.

   "She touched me. She touched me.” He mumbled quickly and furiously. He sanitized his wrist, clawing at the skin, trying to get rid of the feeling of her skin on his. Flashbacks scanned his brain. That frightened boy is back. He slammed his hand down on the steering wheel.

    “Enough!” He screamed at himself. The visions suddenly stopped, the memories faded and he slowly felt himself coming back down to reality. He took a calming breath, pushing back his hair from his face with trembling hands. He felt something moist on his face and he wiped his face and looked at his hand. Sauli didn’t know he was crying.

    Without turning around to look at Karani, Sauli started the car and started driving straight home. “She’s dead.” Karani says flatly after a long silence. “Mother is dead, and you didn’t say goodbye. She wanted to hold your hand before she went, but you ran out of the room, leaving her to die with her hand still extended.”

    “Then why didn’t you take it?” Sauli’s voice was still low.

   “Because she wanted _your_ hand. Not mine.”

   “Well Karani, if you went what I went through, you’d see why I left. Besides, it was for the best. Even if I did stay, I wouldn’t have taken her hand.”

     “You don’t mean that.”

   “The hell I don’t. She used to beat me until I was half dead. You don’t remember because you weren’t even a thought back then.”

   “I remember everything, Sauli.” Karani says, looking down. I know what she has done.”

    “You have no idea what she did.” Sauli muttered under his breath. “And you won’t understand.”

    “No, I don’t.” Karani says stiffly. “I’m not _Adam_.”

    If Sauli wasn’t focused on the road, he would’ve turned around and stared at Karani with pure hatred. One thing that Karani was forbidden to mention was Sauli’s past lover. He hadn’t heard the name Adam in how many years? Sauli thought back.

   10 years. That’s how long it’s been. And Karani’s right—he’s _not_ Adam. Adam and Karani are complete opposites. And another difference between the two was that Karani was still alive.

   “No, you’re not.” Sauli agreed coldly. “You’re just a replacement child.” That shut Karani up. Sauli pushed all thoughts of Adam to the back of his mind and pulled up to the station a few minutes later. “Stay in the front room of the station. Doug and I will be back soon.” He said, getting out of the car. Doug is already waiting for him at the police cruiser and hands him his gun.

    “Ready?” He asks. Sauli slightly smirks.

    “Living the dream.” They were able to track the location of the call, which wasn’t far from the victim’s captivity. The rest of the FBI squad drove behind Doug and Sauli.

   “How are you doing? With your nightmares?” Doug asks after a moment.

   “I’m okay. I still get them frequently, and I’ll wake up screaming, but it’ll pass.”

   “Is she gone?” He asked. Sauli nodded, keeping his eyes on the road.

   “I’m sorry, Sauli. I mean, I know you despised her, but still…” Sauli nodded again.

   “Thanks Doug.” They drove the rest of the way in silence. When they first arrived at the house, Sauli was unsure. The house was really nice, decorated and designed with things that just screamed family friendly. But no one plans a murder out loud.

   Sauli and Doug got out of the car and ran up the steps and drew their guns. A few men on the squad went around back to circle the house. Sauli looked at Doug for approval, Doug nodded and Sauli kicked the door open and they rushed in.

   “We have guns!” Doug shouted. “If you resist, we will shoot.” Of course they wouldn’t, unless if they absolutely had to. “Check every room. Her name is Ingrid.” Doug muttered to Sauli.

    Sauli nodded and split off in another direction. He went down a long hallway, stepping over beer bottles, empty bags of chips, and unidentified puddles. It reminded him of his childhood, and he kept his eyes forward. Sauli entered what he assumed the bedroom and froze.

    There was a long, heavy chain running down from the bedpost to under the bed. Sauli didn’t move. He heard a slight intake of breath, and he knew he had found something. He whistled for his partner and waited until Doug found him. Sauli got on his hands and knees and peered under the bed. A small, blond haired child with her hand over her mouth looked up at him.

    “Are you Ingrid?” Sauli asked in English. The girl nodded slowly. “Hi Ingrid, my name is Sauli, Detective for the FBI.” Once the words left his mouth, Ingrid let out a sob of relief and extended her arms towards him. Sauli gently reached under the bed and pulled her out, lifting her into his arms, one under her knees and the other behind her shoulders.

   She wasn’t wearing much—a pair of tattered and old shorts and a stained tank-top, but she clung to him like her life depended on it. She was covered in bruises in places Sauli didn’t even know could bruise.

   “Somebody get me something so I can get this chain off of her.” Sauli called, switching back to his native tongue, noticing the chain around her neck. Ingrid began crying tears of joy and she buried her face into his neck.

   “You’re safe now.” Sauli assured, carrying her out of the room. News reporters had shown up when Sauli emerged out of the house with the child, and pictures were being taken all at once. Sauli carried her over to an ambulance that had arrived so she could be checked.

   “Sauli! How does it feel to be a hero?” One reporter asked, shoving a microphone in his face. Reporters babbled in Finnish and Sauli shook his head. “We deal with cases like this everyday. It’s nothing new, but each time we find an alive child, it warms my heart.”

   “Sauli!” Doug called from the ambulance. He turned around. “Let’s go back to the hospital so we can call her parents and run some tests.” Sauli nodded. The ride was silent as Sauli wracked his brain for answers. She was completely unharmed. But why?

   When they got to the station, Ingrid was sitting in a chair, talking quickly to an officer. “You need to hear this.” Doug said, pulling Sauli over in the two seats in front of Ingrid. Ingrid was in a hospital bed, babbling about her kidnapping to another officer, who drew the description the child was giving.

    “What is it?” Sauli asked.

    “She says she was taken by a man. His name is Fox—or at least, that’s what he told Ingrid. He has kidnapped over 45 children in the last three years. No one knows if they are alive.” Sauli pinched the bridge of his nose.

    “What does he look like?” He asked Ingrid. She bit her lip, trying to remember.

   “He has blond hair and piercing green eyes. He’s skinny and tall, and he always wears black. He never showed his face to me, I only saw his eyes.”

   “How did he take you?” Doug asked.

   “He didn’t _take_ me. He saved me from…” Ingrid trailed off.

   “What is it?” Sauli asked gently.

  “My father was abusive to me. Fox must’ve seen him on one of his bad days, and he crawled through my window and asked if I trusted him. I don’t know what possessed me to say yes, maybe his beautiful voice; but he took my hand and got me out of there. He never did anything to me, so you better not arrest him. He just…wanted to protect me, I think. He said he knew what I was going through. He saved my life.”

    “We need to track him down.” Doug says to Sauli. Then he turned back to Ingrid.

  “Do you know what happened to the other kids?” Ingrid shakes her head. “No. He splits us up into different places with different people to take care of us.”

   “Who was taking care of you?” Doug asked.

   "He was. _Fox_.”

   “Do you have any idea where he went?” Sauli asked. Ingrid nodded slowly.

   “Where?”

   “You aren’t going to arrest him, right?” Ingrid asked. Doug closed his eyes.

   “Ingrid, he’s kidnapping children and spreading them out around the country. We need to find him and prevent him from doing it again.”

    “He’s saving us! He saved me from my father and he took care of me.” Ingrid almost shouted. Sauli looked at Doug and sighed heavily.

   “You were found with barely any clothes on, and you were beaten and bruised with a chain on your neck. He will be arrested when we find him. Where did he go, Ingrid?”

   Ingrid crossed her arms.

   “Near the outskirts of Burbank, Los Angeles.” She muttered angrily. “He told me she was looking for somebody.”

   “Doug, Sauli, see if you can track him down before he kidnaps somebody else.” Chief Carter says as she walks into the room. Doug and Sauli rushed to get up. Checking to make sure Karani was still in the station, Doug and Sauli got in the car and started the engine.

   “What man kidnaps children from their homes to _save_ them?” Doug frowned as he turned out of the station. Sauli sighed and closed his eyes.

 “I don’t know. But Ingrid was just rescued—she’s tired and confused. I guarantee half of what she said is inaccurate. I think once the doctors check her over and see what’s up; she’ll be able to tell us more.”

    “I hope so.” Doug replies.


End file.
